Gardening

I started my gardening today. I've decided to have water channels so I dug 2 so I can plant peas along one and carrots along the other. I then made some for my onions as well. We'll see how it works this year. What's exciting about it is that I worked hard today. I actually got some exercise! I was out there about an hour and a half, digging and then stomping. I'm going to be sore tomorrow and I'm tired now, but in a good way. I think my husbands confused by how productive I've been the last two days. I hung 2 loads of laundry as well. How good am I?

And Summer is here...

Wow. I know, it's supposed to be Spring still but it hit 79 degrees today. How is that Spring? It was 75 yesterday. The kids want water under the tramp but I keep saying no until the canal water is turned on. I can't afford to use city water as often as they want to. If the weather doesn't cool off, I could guess we'll be getting the water turned on in a couple of weeks. Can't wait. Shawn cleaned up the yard in a major way since he couldn't go to Jocelyn's Baptism with us so it was my turn today. I cleaned out the front flower beds. I think it took me almost 2 hours. That's what I get for not cutting my roses back last year. I think we're going to give it a few more weeks before we plant the perennials though. Tomorrow I'm supposed to work on peas, onions and carrots in the garden. We got about 30 strawberry starts planted last week. I cleaned out the pots for the tomatoes in the green house. We used mostly what we had from last year but it was buggy from the year off it had. Not good. We had a dismal crop of tomatoes and it wasn't from lack of trying. Granted we got started late, but we'll do better this year. I'm waiting until we get our tomato plants before I put new potting soil in the pots. Also, we got 2 100 ft hoses from Home Depot Saturday and found we needed one more. They were an awesome price ($16 each). We also got 5 hose cradles so we can hang the hoses up next to their spigots. Is that the right word? Anyway, I had to throw out 3 hoses that the stupid Tig dog chewed the crap out of. Holes everywhere. We are set now though. I'm a dork when hoses make me happy. Now we just need sprinklers. Tig chewed those up too. We're going to do a much better job this year of reigning that dog in.

I put on a pedometer this morning. I also tried to work hard outside. I'm tired right this moment. I need some new pants but I don't want to buy 14's so I'm trying to at least lose a size so I can buy a new pair of pants. I've read that vigorous yard/garden work is excellent exercise. Oh and my fingers hurt at the nuckle, but I think that's from knitting.

More Riley Quips

So, my youngest is a video head. Yes, at 5 he plays waaaayyy too much on whatever video game console he can find. His current favorite is the Original Nintendo that we hooked up. He loves Mario Bros 3. Shawn said he can hum the different tunes based on what level he's on. Shawn listened to it all morning long and when he got Riley to come spend some time with him Shawn was humming the one of the tunes. Riley told Shawn that he was humming level 5. He knows where enough warp whistles are to get to the end and he has played the first world so much that he looks like a pro when you first come in to watch. Too much video playing? Well, tonight he was in playing and all the sudden I hear, "I killed him! Hooray for me!" It was hilarious. That's my boy, full of self affirming comments. You will frequently hear him congratulating himself with "good job" or "you did it!" He really doesn't need anyone else to do it for him. He rarely lets an opportunity pass without a few words of self encouragement. Guess I don't do enough for him. Shawn says he is imitating the Mario in voice. I guess he will come up with some slight pizzaria accent and frequently says, "Mama Mia" and "Luigi" or "Mario" with accent. Shawn's going to try to record it.

Hunter's Education

So, since I officially passed Hunter Ed does that make me a hunter? Okay, technically I don't have a hunting license yet, but I can, legally, have one. As much as I've fought it, and when it comes down to it my reasons were completely valid, I finally succumbed and completed Hunter Ed. What does that mean? Well, that means I've done as my work supervisor strongly recommended I do, what my husband has been begging me to do, and what Kyler and Madison are happy I did with them. There was some serious stress. You can take the class at 9 in Idaho, but there was admittedly a point that I didn't know if a 9 year old could pass it. Or a 10 year old for that matter. We got down to our last day I remembered that I'd taken a practice test online once so I found it and took it. It wasn't exactly easy. You really had to have read the book to get them. So I called Shawn and had him make Kyler take it, and I called Madi and had her take it. And then they got to take it again. They both got somewhere in the 60% range. You have to get 80% to pass. Kyler did better the second time with his dad helping him, but I still had some seriously nervous kids before class. Madi was convinced that she was going to fail. Review, review, review, brake, review some more, test time. Finally. Okay, so to toot my own horn, I was the first one done. 60 questions, took me maybe 8 min to do. But hey, good short term memory for testing and I have worked there for almost 9 years. Give me a little credit. So, I missed one. Yeah, yeah, I've worked there almost 9 years, I shouldn't have missed one but I'm blaming it on the question. :) Kyler missed 7 which gave him and 88% and Madison missed 10 which gave her an 83%. WE ALL PASSED. Still had the field day, but we passed that too with flying colors. They really don't try to make it extremely difficult to do. And I hit inside the target all 20 shots with my bad eye! Oh, and the real kicker? That online test? It was soooo much harder than the real thing, but I guarantee those kids know their crap now.

So in all a good day. Long week, but good day. Proud of my kids. They did well. And the final result? My darling husband is telling me about all these hunts I get to do now and all this money is going to spend putting in on controlled hunts for me. Yeah, it didn't take him more than 30 seconds after I told him that I was taking Hunter Ed before he started daydreaming about my killing a cow elk. Yup. I knew this would be the case, why do you think I've put it off for so long? Ok, I'll go with him a few times, but I still stand by the fact that I've been putting in my time while he's been hunting all these years so that someday (sooner than later) I can pack them all out the door and stay home by myself while they hunt. That's my goal. :)

I'm Baaaaackkkkk!

Okay, so that was lame. And major sigh. I lost anybody that was actually checking my blog regularly by not ever writing so I guess I deserve to write this for myself. It's been busy. I'm taking Hunter's Education right now with Kyler and Madison. We have 2 more nights of class and then a field day. It's made for a really loooooonnnnngggg weeeeeeeek. Almost over, but it hasn't seemed like Spring Break. I'm glad the kids are doing it this week with no school rather than a week they have to deal with school too. We've had some pretty late nights. Riley's trying to type for me. Random letters here and there. He's having a tough day because his dad declared the rest of the day video game free. Serious sign of problems already starting. And late nights.

I'm angry with Wells Fargo right now. I used to pay my truck bill online and then last June they changed their websites and the one I went to told me I could no longer pay online if I didn't have a Wells Fargo account. Sucked big, but whatever. So checks it was. Well, about 2 months ago I didn't get a statement. I thought maybe someone else had gotten the mail that day and I just didn't see it so I called and made my payment ($10 service charge thank you). Last month, didn't get my statement. Hmmm. Fluke again? Didn't realize until bill was basically due so another $10 service charge. Didn't receive it by the 21st this month so I started watching REALLY closely. Nope, still not here today so I finally called (yes I should have 2 months ago, but I forget things and I really did think someone else had gotten it and misplaced it. It's not like it's an open line of credit...). Nope, current address was not 712 Victor Ave, did we have a different address? Apparently you have to call and verbally change your address. Guess I didn't. Mine was temporarily changed because of Postal Service forward information and when I didn't call their system more or less expunged all of that data after what, a year and a half? Nice. Even though I've been mailing everything from 712, with that address on my checks... Whatever. Okay, not whatever, I was mad. Probably wasn't terribly polite to the guy on the other end. He kept telling me that when you have a foreign address...foreign? How can my address be foreign again? Last time I checked Idaho was still part of the United States. Seriously, twice I responded rather baffled to his use of the word foreign. Then he decided to enunciate better and got out forward. Oh, and did I mention that the first time I finally got connected to a live person through their seriously twisty turny menus he put me on hold which shuffled me back to the very first menu you get when you call. Okay, so by the time I got to the second guy I was already huffy. Guess the good thing is my address is now officially changed and he told me they have a new site that I can pay my bill online through so life is better, if still not a little big irritating. Bill is paid and I'm happy-ish.

The real title should be...

Okay, so the real title of this blog should be The Life and Sayings of Riley. Tonight I got to meet Shawn for dinner with a client. Brett said he would watch Riley for me since the other boys were staying the night at Brian's house (Brian volunteered to take Riley too, but I'm not ready). I had a nice dinner with Shawn and his client (it was his birthday - and yes, I paid for my own dinner) and went to pick Riley up. Joan had been working in the garage and had no idea that Riley was even there. She came out when I pulled up and she was naturally curious why I'd come back (I'd picked up Madi & Brodi for wrestling 2 hours earlier) and I told her I was there to get my boy. She was confused and told me she didn't have any boys. :) Well, we had a nice chat but Riley didn't want to put his shoes on to go home. He wanted me to carry him so I said I would (easier for me too). We got to the car when the overwhelming urge to burp came over me & I did and then I said excuse me. Riley, thinking it was funny, pointed out that I'd just burped. Within seconds, he was plugging his nose though and in a very offended voice said, "What did you eat?!" I asked him why, trying very hard not to laugh, and he said, "You burped in my face!" It was hilarious. Seriously funny. I'm still laughing!

Two days later

Two days. It's only taken me two days to get back on this time! That's an improvement. I'm trying to actually get on. I've found that there is almost a direct correlation between me blogging and thinking about eating healthy. The time in between blogs doesn't involve thinking about cutting back, eating sensibly, or exercising. When I get on here though, it's an immediate thought, even if right now it's just about how I've failed so far. That's why there are always new beginnings. :)

So, Makenzie is getting baptised tomorrow. We're really proud of her. It will be nice to see everyone this weekend too. My parents are on their way here now. Yahy. I hate that word only because I just don't know how to spell it and no one will tell me. It's not yeah, and I know it's not yahy, but yay looks stupid. Blah.

Also looking forward to Angie and Trevor coming home for Spring Break. Another yahy would go in here if someone would tell me how to spell it so it doesn't look stupid. Thanks. They will get here just in time for Riley's 5th birthday. That's nice for us. Speaking of his 5th bday I just got a call from a gal in our ward. She wanted to know if I would be willing to possibly sing a duet at the Relief Society birthday party on the Wed after next. I think my immediate hesitation was a give away, but I did finally muster up the ability to get past the absolute shock that someone would actually ask me to sing, almost alone mind you(the awesome gal she was trying to get to sing with me is in the Primary presidency with me and she doesn't like singing in front of people either), in front of a group of women I know. I told her, as kindly as I could, that I wasn't comfortable with that. (I told my mom this and she told me that I was missing out on an enriching experience and I told her that I was just making sure someone else had an opportunity to enjoy that enriching experience. I'm so unselfish like that.) She then asked if I was comfortable enough to sing in a larger group, say 6 to 8 women. I told her, yes, that makes me more comfortable and I don't mind that, but what night was this again. I looked at a calendar and darn it! Wouldn't you know, it has the bad luck to be on the 17th. Well shoot. Guess I just miss out on all the enriching experiences this time around. :)

Oh, and this is going to be a long one. Angie won't text me back & I'm all sorts of chatty right now. I went to the public library and they had a bookmark with a picture of the two main characters of a new version of Emma on PBS Masterpiece Classic. I picked one up because I'm such a sucker for all things Jane Austen. I'd missed it, but I got onto PBS and they had it there. 3 parts later, I was done. Really enjoyed it. I always felt something was lacking in the Emma done a few years ago (actually quite a few years back since after it came out Melanie - my best friend from high school- gave me a copy of Emma with pictures of Gweneth Paltrow in it and on it from her version of the movie) and this was more satisfying. I'm a total baby when it comes to favorite books being adapted to film. Just ask Kristen, she'd love to enlighten you on this particular quirk. They did an excellent job following the film and the characters were much more pleasant to look at. I never liked the actor they picked for Frank Churchill in the last version. This one was much better. I also thought that Gweneth Paltrow's Emma was just a tad bit too likable. She never came off as really wrong and truly judgemental. Or maybe it's been a really long time since I've seen that version. Anyway, the PBS one was great. I noticed that you can rent it on Netflix.

On the back of the bookmark, I noticed that they've done a newer version of Persuasion as well. Now, while I liked Emma well enough, Persuasion and Pride and Prejudice are by far my favorite novels by Jane Austen. I admit that I struggled with the Pride and Prejudice that came out not that long ago with Keira Knightly, but I was able to get past some of that and accept it for what it was and not what it was lacking. I even bought it. It's not my favorite version, as that is reserved for the unbeatable version done by the BBC that is 5+ hours long with the adorable Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy, but it was enjoyable none the less. Long way to get to my point about Persuasion. Wow, this might be too much for this post. There's a bit of a back story to Persuasion for me. Oh well, I will push onward and if you stop reading, well, I understand.

I read Pride and Prejudice my senior year of high school. I loved it. I then got more of her novels and the next one I read was Persuasion. I will admit that when I read Persuasion, I was baffled by it. I didn't understand the language and it just honestly didn't make a lot of sense. Shortly after I read it, I went to the video store with my dad. While wandering I found a copy of the BBC version of Persuasion that had two people on the front leaning in for a kiss. The man was handsome and the girl was very pretty. I showed it to my dad and he told me I wanted it just for the picture on the front. Maybe...But anyway, we sat down and watched it. Yes, my dad watched it with me. We watched it and we both tried to puzzle through it. We then decided we needed to watch it a second time to see if it made any more sense. So we did and it did. And I found I wanted to read the book again to see if it made more sense. Wow! It was suddenly very clear to me. So, that's how my love of Persuasion came to be. It has a much closer bond than Emma ever did, thus my apprehension in watching a new version of the movie. Now, the BBC version (which they both probably are in all actuality) was really only about 111 min long. Not quite 2 hours. The PBS one comes in at less than that by about 15 min I think so I wasn't terribly optimistic. Also, it wasn't on PBS so I had to rent it from Netflix. I loved Captain Wentworth. Not to be disloyal to the original (for me) Captain Wentworth, who I can pick out of any film I see him in, but I did like their Captain Wentworth choice. I like their Mr. Elliot choice too. Anne, was okay. I didn't hate her (my problem with Edward from Twilight) so I was okay with it. They definitely cut and rearranged, but I guess I can live with it. Is it a new favorite? No. Did I despise it? No. I wasn't as impressed with it as I was with the artsy 2 hour Pride and Prejudice, but it was passable and I'm okay with that. I would still recommend the other version because it was a little truer to the story than the new, but the new was passable. Oh, and the picture on the front of the video rental was sooo not pictures of the actual actors in the movie. They'd taken some other, more attractice people & used them. But the funny thing about that original version of Persuasion was that Anne was so unatractive at the start, but as the movie went on, she just got prettier.

So I'm finally done. Kudos to any who read this far. :) You're my favorite people.

Wrestling Tournament

Bayden and Broderic had their very first Wrestling Tournament tonight. Broderic weighed in at 57lbs and Bayden weighed in at 73lbs so they weren't anywhere near the same weight class. Bayden ended up being the lightest in his class . He wrestled against a kid at 81lbs & 78 lbs. He won the first and lost the second, but he put a lot of heart into it. The second kid has been wrestling for a few years too so he had Bayden out classed all the way around this time. It kind of stung poor Bayden's feelers though so he's determined to learn more, do more and be better next time. He doesn't like to lose. We just need to make sure that goes in the right direction. He did well and got a silver medal. We are very proud of him.

Broderic also did some form of what I'm sure some would call wrestling. He's tenacious which surprised me as he's been goofing off at practice and only half paying attention. Of course, that was slightly apparent when he tried to drop kick the other kid. Then again, the other kid seemed to be in about the same arena because he would get on his back and kick at Broderic to keep him away. The poor kid that was reffing that match... Broderic, though, was successful and won both of his matches. He got a gold. The kids a scrapper, even if it was a little more UFC than high school sanctioned wrestling. He may have a taste for it now though and be a little more attentive at practice.

No more Wednesday wrestling tournaments for us though. It was almost 9 when we got home. Tough on a school night.

Sigh...

Okay, so I am seriously slacking! I don't want to sit here an type because I feel like a failure. Trying to find my center again. It's slow in coming. Not feeling so terribly committed. Anyway, I'm getting here and trying to find it. This is my first baby step.

Not much is happening here. The boys are doing well. Riley is getting ready to turn 5. It's coming. I'm ready. Still have cougher's in my house, but they're getting better. I'm ready for them to be better. No real energy to type tonight. I tend to be especially boring rather than mildly boring when I have no real energy. I need to do a lot of cooking tonight but I don't want to. I may put it off until tomorrow. Yup, going to put it off until tomorrow. I think I'm going to tell my husband I'm not waiting up for him tonight. I'm tired.

New Beginnings

So Tomorrow I am going to try again. I've failed miserably, but I've failed myself and that shouldn't be acceptable. So I'm going to try again. Forgive and forget right? Well, that's only if you can stop doing the thing that needs to be forgiven. So I need to stop slacking off. My goal this week is to run. I need to run on my treadmill.

The boys have been doing their chores. It's been wonderful. They didn't earn the $2.50 for last week. Ky and Bayden each earned $1.50 and Riley earned $1. But they still did most of their chores so it was a success. Kyler wants to get paid for each sticker (10 cents each) but I told him that wasn't how it was going to work. They get paid only if they do the chore 5 times. We've done the 10 cents per sticker thing before and there's not enough incentive.

Not very lively tonight. I think I'm tired. I got to actually conduct closing exercises for junior primary today and it was amazingly draining. Blah. We had ward conference and because we have about 90 active kids we had to split them up. It worked, but not necessarily smoothly. Glad it's not a usual occurrence. I got to lead but I wasn't prepared to actually come up with songs so the primary pianist wasn't thrilled with me when I asked what songs we were singing. Heehee. But it went well enough and it's over so I'm good. So boring night, nothing fun to report, I want to go to bed.

And it's finally over...

Okay, so today wasn't bad but I'm glad it's over. My head is POUNDING and my eyes are burning. I've had a few late nights and fitful nights so I'm back on the super-tired wagon. It hasn't helped what I have determined to be one heck of a sinus infection. Going on one full week and 2 days and it doesn't show signs of leaving. I'm finally starting to be able to hear a little bit more. I'm now spending more of the day with clear hearing than not. I think part of my eye problem is that I used my new Mary Kay eye makeup remover and I didn't wash it off with water before opening my eyes. Supposedly I'm shouldn't have to wash it off because it's the miracle stuff that takes the makeup off but won't hurt your eyes. Well, the stinging seems to indicate otherwise for me. It may work that way for most, but I don't think I'm a winner in this category. Of course, I've been having some pretty painful times with my seriously sensitive eyes lately. I actually didn't know my eyes were so very sensitive. I think it's an age thing. :)

Still haven't run on my treadmill and the second night of Navajo tacos aren't a good indicator that I'm losing weight. So, like how I snuck that in and then just moved on? Oh, I'm moving on by the way. I've made a weekly chore chart for my boys. I've decided to pay them a commission (thank you Mr. Dave Ramsey) for certain jobs that they have to do. They each have 5 things they have to do 5 times a week. That gives them 2 days of wiggle room. So far they are using them. They have to do the job all 5 times for that week to get the 50 cents for that job. Slave driver? Well, I really struggled paying them for something they should be doing because they are members of the family, but I needed to give them some incentive and they really want to earn money. They say they do anyway. First week and actually, it's not going half bad. The key though turns out to be my consistency rather than theirs. I have to ride them pretty hard every night to get it done, but they don't actually seem to view it as nagging or totally negative because they're getting paid to do it. They have the potential to earn $10 a month. They get half to put in their spending jar, $4 goes into their long-term saving jar and 10% goes to tithing. Money management and they're learning to clean. It's been good for me too. Tonight they didn't get to go to Madi and Brodi's house to play because they chose to go play at the park and watch TV rather than do their chores like they'd been told 4 times. They still had to do their chores though. Someday, when they're completely trained, I'm going to look back and say, "It was so worth it."

So, trying to find my desire to get thin again, but making other changes in my life as well, so not a total bust life-wise in my eyes. Just not getting me any closer to that healthy heart and new wardrobe. Sigh.

Happy Presidents Day

It is President's Day right? I'm off work, but I don't remember the name of the Holiday. Anyway, I really have to get back on here. I have taken too many days off. I've been dealing with a kicker of a head cold for almost a week now. 6 Days to be exact. I haven't done any running and I've eaten crap to my hearts content. Well, maybe to my minds content. My heart could do with a lot less of it actually. Oh, and I'm doing scones tonight. Hope my heads happy.

Had a really good Valentine's Day. Shawn and I went out Saturday night. It started iffy. I got the baby sitter and decided to go to Red Lobster because Shawn loves it and we haven't been in a while, but when we got there people were waiting outside. I got discouraged actually and kind of spiraled down. My plans were no longer good and I didn't want to make anymore so I pouted. Shawn tried to pick somewhere else, but when we got close I commented that I didn't want to go to Butter Burrs because I didn't know that's where he kind of really wanted to go. So we drove around for almost half an hour finding out that everywhere was just packed. We finally wound up at Chili's with a 35 min wait (70 min at Red Lobster) and had our dinner. It was nice enough considering my pouting. Then we drove around trying to figure out what to do next. I'd looked at movie options and there was nothing that I wanted to spend real money on except The Book of Eli and that didn't even start until 10 and I didn't want to wait until then & be out that late. Baby sitter's aren't cheap. In our driving we managed to drive past Tough Guy Bowling Lanes. I suggested to Shawn, almost as a joke, that we go bowling. He surprised me and said "Sure, I'd actually like to bowl with you rather than watch you bowl." The last time we went bowling was w/the Cub Scouts for Kyler and Shawn just watched. Lots of people and all. So we went bowling. It was a blast! It was like a real date. We actually had to interact. :) I won the first two games (something like 152 to 140 something and then 118 to 98 or so) and then Shawn got a ball that finally fit better (fingers and weight) and he won the last game (179 to 98). So we are going to go bowling again. We are going to try to do more active things rather than movies. We had fun. Lots of fun. It made us feel young again. :)

Oh so sick...

Okay, so I'm still sick and just don't feel like doing anything. Good news is that I haven't eaten much cause I'm just not terribly hungry. Bad news is I haven't run because I just don't care. I felt better today than the last two and went to work, but the longer the day wears on the worse I'm feeling. I need a nap, but as it happens, I am letting Kyler and Bayden try wrestling and it starts tonight. Bayden really wanted to and when I asked Ky he said he'd like to try. Not sure it's his speed, but just in case my observation is off, I'm glad he's trying it. He said he doesn't want to do baseball this summer. He really, really wants to do basketball. So, wrestling, something I never really considered a sport because it wasn't something anyone in my house did. Anyway, don't feel good, want to go to bed, but not going to happen.

So Riley had a doctors appointment this morning. He knew he was getting shots because his brothers have been teasing him all week. He was nervous and gave the doctor a hard time because he thought the doctor was going to spring the shots on him at any moment. The nurse gave the shots. He's a fighter. Anyway, I forgot to give Shawn his immunization record so I left work and ran it down and stayed for the appointment. Riley climbed up on my lap and I wrapped my arms around his middle. As the sides of my clasped hands rested on the tops of his thighs, I felt something hard and rectangular bulging through his pants. Now, if you've spent much time around Riley you know he doesn't much care for underwear, so when I reached down his pants to pull out the hard object stuffed down his pants, Shawn thought I was just checking to see if he had underwear on. He couldn't figure out why I was fishing down his pants. Yes, I was grateful that neither the doctor or the nurse was in the room. Shawn's face was worth it though when instead of explaining what I was doing, I produced Kyler's Nintendo DS from Riley's underwear. Yeah, and I had to clean it off. Shawn was completely surprised because he had no idea Riley had it at all. I'm glad he opted for the underwear because the pants weren't tight enough to ensure it wouldn't slip down his leg. :) That's my boy.

Blah!

So, here I am. I feel like crap but my adoring fan(s) call, and call, and call... :) Thank you for keeping me honest Angie. I've sucked it up. Big time. I basically need to start over. I actually have noticed that I eat less at major meals, but I really have to get control of the snacking. And I haven't run in a while. Probably a week and that's the building block of my weight loss. So, have to get that down. Seriously. Last week sucked because of all the hormones. This week I have one of those nasty can't-smell-need-to-cough-every-few-minutes-want-to-sleep colds. I'm not running tonight. I don't care how many people tell me it will make me feel better. No. I started out not hot this morning, but if I'm going to take a day off work to be sick, I'm going to take a day I don't have to leave my house. If I took today I would have had to leave to pick up Madi & Broderic and that ruins the whole be home sick thing so I toughed it out. Started out better than it ended. I kept feeling worse and worse as the day went on. I ache and I just want to lay down. I should be doing this from my bed on the tablet/laptop I borrowed from Trent. It's about 4 years newer than my laptop and you can tell. It actually works! But I'm not. I just tidied up the front room in case Shawn has a date come home with him (he's playing basketball at the church) so he won't be embarrassed. I still need to get Riley to go to sleep. But it's hard because I just don't care except he's totally driving me crazy. I know, that doesn't make any sense, but right now everything is really hazy and foggy.

Makenzie turned 8 today so we went to her family party. It was nice. She got a karaoke machine. I'm so not jealous. Happy for her of course. Heeheehee. It's not coming to visit at my house. Saw Grandma and Grandpa Campbell. Kyler went to give Grandma a hug goodbye and he attacked the task a little to vigorously. Catching the tail end of it was like watching a quarterback get sacked. Trent and Grandpa had just gotten Grandma to her feet when Kyler went in for the hug. He ended up on top of her. Fortunately the couch was right behind her so she ended up sitting back down. No one was injured thankfully. Oh, and cranky me just smacked my son in the arm and boy were there waterworks. I don't know when he became so dramatic. This is the 3rd time today (first time I've smacked him) that they've shown up. I turned his movie off earlier and you'd think I'd just killed his fish or cut his arm off. So can't deal today. So there it is, adoring fan. Just for you. :) Love you

#3 Inner-Directed

Okay, so yesterday was yesterday. I'm much better today. I'm not even going to dwell on what kind of damage I did to my weight because that other Kimm was in control. She's gone for at least a month though so we should be good. Maybe someday she'll get on board with eating healthy, though I'm not going to hold my breath. But, I guess if it's only one day a month that she visits and wreaks havoc on my eating I can just run extra another day. I'm kind of afraid of her. She's super cranky.

Now the third characteristic of a goal from Good Housekeeping: Inner-directed. "You need to lose weight for your own reasons, not because you're comparing yourself to some ideal. You shouldn't try to fit into anyone's clothes but your own." So, right now I don't even fit into my own clothes so I'm not looking to fit into anyone else's. :) Really, I do have an ideal of how I want to look, but it's not like any one specific person out there. I want to look like the Kimm I see in the bathroom mirror when I'm standing in front of the split between the right hand mirror and the middle mirror sections. There is no gap. They butt right up next to each other and when I stand there 1/4 of my body disappears and I'm suddenly thinner. That's my ideal, so I can actually visualize what I would look like. Is that what they're talking about? No, I'm not trying to get as think as some super model that doesn't eat. I don't have any grand plans of being the same size I was in high school. I'm actually more comfortable with my body, even at the size it is, than I ever was when I was thin as a rail. But that's still not terribly comfortable so I'm going to do something about it. I have started to go through clothing magazine's and say "Oooh. I want to wear that!" when I see something I like. I don't want to be the model though. But still, it's not just about the size for me. It's also about my health. I need to be healthier like I need air to breath.

Tuesday Crappers!

So I'm not today. I'm not doing anything. I just don't care and I don't want to care today. I'm crampy, cranky and just downright ornery right now. I'm not running. I'm not watching what I eat and I'm not even going to care even a little bit. I'm going to curl up in a ball and rock back and forth until I go to bed. So, better tomorrow.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTEN!

Just finished running for Mon. One day down, 5 more this week. I have to do this every night!

Characteristic #2 - Concrete

Okay, so the 2nd characteristic is Concrete - "It should be measurable and time-specific - for example, "I want to lose five pounds in four weeks." Actually, that is my goal. I want to lose 5 pounds in 4 weeks every 4 weeks until I hit my 50 lbs. So, my goal is measurable, time-specific and concrete. I accept that goal. It's more concrete actually than saying 50 lbs in one year. That allows me to put it off. I now have a more concrete goal of 5 lbs a month.

So, I asked Shawn to put the boys to bed last night. He was okay with that. What it meant though was that he had to put Riley down. We were doing pretty good for a while. Riley was actually going to bed in his bed and by himself. Not sure what changed, but for the last month it's been a battle. I've had to start laying with him to get him down in anything less than 2 hours of in and out of bed. So Shawn put Riley down last night. Yes, yes he did. That sweet, sweet funny man put Riley down without once threatening to spank him for getting up. Oh, there was still a threat, but it wasn't directed at Riley. No, the threat he used was that if Riley didn't stay in bed mom was going to spank dad and dad really didn't want to be spanked. It got Riley in bed initially. It didn't last long so Shawn reiterated that he was going to get in BIG TROUBLE and did Riley really want dad to get spanked? Riley apologized, "I didn't mean to get you in trouble dad." That lasted for a bit longer and then while I was taking a bath apparently Shawn had to remind Riley again, but this time he used visual effects. He showed him his arm, where he was sore from trying to start an auger, and the back of his knee where he had a cut from the gate to his dead room. He "showed" Riley the results of his injuries from Riley getting out of bed. I believe "wooden spoon" was used as well because Riley told me not to spank his dad with a wooden spoon today. Riley did stay in bed the last time but that may be the last time I ask Shawn to put him to bed. :) Guess that's one way to work it.

Goal Characteristics #1 - Yours

Okay, so the first characteristic of a goal that this article lists is to make it YOURS. I have to own the goal. "To be effective, it has to reflect your true desire - not your husband's, mother's, or best friend's." So I'm going to make sure my goal of losing 50 lbs is truly mine. Again, why am I losing the weight? Because I carry my weight in my belly. That's probably numero uno. Women who carry their weight in the middle sections have a higher rate of heart disease. I am in my 30's (as much as I like to claim otherwise) and I'm obviously not getting any younger. I am not ready to leave my family behind if it's because of something I can control/change. I also HATE how I look in pictures. I hate it. I could be very happy never to have another picture taken of me at this size, but that's not a very realistic desire. I have found that I also don't want to end up with no pictures of me and my kids/husband which is about where we're at. I avoid the camera like the plague. I want my kids to have those videos/pictures to sit and look at longingly when I am not here, just like in the movies. You know the ones. The candid but ever so charming photo of the couple smiling big and obviously enjoying their outdoor-BBQ-fishing adventure-mountain climbing-fancy dress-windy day blowing the hair just right experience. I want that. :) I also hate not having any clothes that feel like they fit. I don't want to buy a larger size. I don't want to get into the plus size clothes. I'm not there (barely or maybe I should be there and I just keep squishing into my too small clothes) yet and I don't want to get there. No bigger sizes. Smaller. Only Smaller. So this is MY goal. Shawn didn't suggest it. My mother didn't push me (well maybe the fact that she's giving me all the clothes that are too big for her might have helped encourage me). I didn't have a best friend chanting in my ear that she's doing this so I should do it with her. I decided I was tired of being fat. I have no energy. I can't do the outdoorsy stuff with my family without getting seriously winded. This is for ME, not anyone else. If I don't succeed, I am only failing myself. I'm tired of failing myself.

Oh, for those that haven't heard (most everybody), Riley opened the chicken run to get eggs and then didn't lock it back up. I let Tig out to of his kennel (he won't stay in the yard so he gets locked up for most of the day) to get some exercise. Tig was out for probably an hour before he realized the door to the chickens wasn't really an obstacle. I asked Kyler to check on Tig to make sure he was in the yard and he alerted me, with a healthy dose of panic, that Tig was chasing a chicken up on the patio. Sure enough. Red (probably the favorite and boy does she lay HUGE eggs) was just barely evading the snapping canines coming at her. Well, she didn't really escape. She lost a lot of feathers, but actually only had one spot of any real damage and it was pretty minor and on the very edge of one wing. I was finally able to get Tig by his collar and kennel him and Rocky back up. Kyler and I then embarked on a chicken hunt. It took me a bit to get a hold of a very harassed Rhode Island Red and when I carried her back to safety, one of the Leghorn's was walking calmly back into the Chicken run. The other Leghorn (the white ones) was cowering in a back corner. She didn't fare as well as Red. She had a few bleeding puncture wounds on the top of her head. We weren't sure she was going to make it. So, we were only missing one chicken now. Kyler and I started to search the yard. I was expecting to find a dead chicken. I finally found the Sex-link (yes, that's really it's type) unharmed at the big gate by our woodpile. This was 2 days ago and so far they are all still alive and at least 3 of them are still laying eggs. 2 brown and 1 white each day. Oh, and our chicken's names are Tweedle, Dee, Dumb, and Dumber if you didn't know. You can't tell Dee and Dumb apart because their both white Leghorn's, but does it really matter? I crack up every time I say their names. :) Tweedle is the Rhode Island Red and Dumber is the Sex-link. Tweedle is the feistiest and Dumber is the bravest.

Boy, my post are just so dang long. Hope you like reading.

am i really posting from my phone? did it work?

Can it really be Thursday?

Okay, so seriously questioning my commitment. Which, is actually good because it's making me evaluate how my progress has been so far. I want to do this. I really, really do! So I found the best article in Good Housekeeping (I'm sooooo glad my mom never changed the address) about weight loss and it referenced a free online group called sparkpeople.com. I haven't checked it out yet. So I'm going to explore each of the 6 characteristics of a goal according to the article. I'm going to take one a day and really look at it and evaluate it for me. You're welcome to do the same for yourself. There are also motivation secrets (3), nutrition secrets (6) and exercise secrets (3). Prevention magazine also has a Flat Belly diet that I am interested in looking at, but I don't know that that's the way I want to go. It pushes Monounsaturated fats like those found in nuts and avocados. I'm not an avocado fan and I don't like a lot of nuts either, but I'll look at what it's about. It was interesting. That article I found on MSN. http://health.msn.com/nutrition/articlepage.aspx?cpdocumentid=100252239&page=2 Try it and see.

Didn't run last night. I think I've run once all week. I'd really like to run tonight. I think I need to. I can't deal with all the little voices in my head right this minute. Maybe running would help with that. Of course, bedtime would help with that as well...

Bayden and Noemi did their 1st grade program today at school. They did a good job. We were treated to 12 songs, one song for each month. These are definitely top 10 material. Things like Fly, Fly Witchy Witchy Fly; Hip Hop Bunny; All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth (Bayden was the epitome of this song); And of course the crowning jewel, Days of the months with added action that you may all remember from "The Macarena." Good times, good times. (Really? They can't go to bed yet? So what if it's only 6:39. I'm ready.) Poor Noemi was literally squashed between two other kids. She was generously using her elbows to make room, but honestly it was only in defence because the other kid started it. She did a fabulous job and looked great in her pale green and black dress. Bayden had plenty of room on the end of the risers so he should have been the star of the show. I'm afraid there was a definite lack of enthusiasm for the whole singing thing. About all I've heard for 2 weeks is how sick of practicing he is. But he still did a good job and he tried to get into all of the songs with actions. Trent promised me pictures so hopefully I'll be able to post something. They were too far away and the room was too dark for my camera to do them justice. Of course, there's no one quite like Trent to get my darling boy to make faces and stick his finger up his nose in front of a large crowd all for the sake of a picture. Thanks Trent!

Okay. So going to finish out my night. Need to get kids to bed (only 1 hour left), enter my vehicle reports for work (I did take Tuesday off after all) and run for at least an hour. Okay, so maybe I'll run for half an hour and walk briskly for the other half. Still, need to put in an hour. Oh! I also weighed myself the other day and was so excited about the 7 lbs I'd lost. Giddy might be a good word for it. :) And then, I went ahead and weighed myself again, this time not using the door knob for balance (and maybe to hold some of the weight). I put 6 lbs back on once I let go. Sigh. Oh well. It was a good feeling to work towards.

Monday

So I ran tonight. Did my 30 minute program and I'm glad I got that much in. Soooooo did not want to do it. I really wanted to go sit in that little quiet room by my little quiet self with my not so quiet stomach, but I ran instead. My stomach. A little upset about that, but we still did it, my stomach and I. Food wise, not great but not horrible. Didn't gorge on ice cream or chocolate or even sugar of any kind. I didn't have my breakfast burrito so I had an orange and a yogurt and almost an entire can of Pringles (Sour Cream and Onion so almost a vegetable right?). But still not tons of sugar and not tons of fatty stuff. So ok. I'll take ok.

Boys got their report cards and they're doing well in school. Also got their last H1N1 shots tonight and they bucked it up. Riley screamed for a minute but Kyler and Bayden insisted they didn't even feel it when they finally got it. They got more worked up about it than obviously necessary, but they still did it with no real tears.

And that's about it. Working from home tomorrow so maybe I can fit in an extra run. We'll be optimistic that it happens. And Angie, you're my rock!

Long (enough) break

Okay, so obviously I fell off the wagon and reacted to the guilt by not holding myself accountable for it. But, just because you fall off the wagon and onto a heaping pile of dung, doesn't mean you have to wallow in it. So, I've picked myself up, taken a nice, long hot shower and I'm just going to keep going. I haven't run on my treadmill since, I think Saturday, but maybe I did on Monday, I can't remember now. I haven't been on here since I stopped running. Pretty pathetic really, one week, and I didn't really do very well that week, and I have to basically start over. Then again, that horrible "before" picture is getting me going again. Ugh. I'm printing it and putting it up in front of my treadmill.


So, recommitting (and I'll do this as many times as it takes. Hopefully this one sticks, but if not, then one of them has to) to my healthy lifestyle. Tomorrow could be really easy. Or it could be really hard. Our bishop has asked that we do a special fast for the entire month of January for the Missionaries. No, we don't have to all go the entire month, but at least one family is supposed to take a day of the month and fast. Well, tomorrow is our day. So, I'm going to be hungry, but that's going to be okay. Guess it's a good way to start off my fresh start right?

Onward and forward. I will lose this weight before it kills me. :)

2 Day report

So I'm going to tackle yesterday and today in one shot.

Yesterday I walked for 3 miles. Still didn't run, but I did walk longer. Oh, and increased the incline to a daring 0.5. Yes, yes, I know. I am ever the adventurous one. :) Not so great on the food though. Actually, since I don't believe I got up until 11 (yes that would be correct, no your eyes aren't lying, I didn't get up out of bed until 11 am) I didn't really have breakfast calories to worry about. I snacked on salami, cheese and crackers, though this time I did a double serving. I also FAILED miserably with the ice cream. Intended to eat just a bit, but I ended up eating the entire 2 cups. Smith's had a sale on their individual sizes and my fat brain thought that would be a great idea! What? 10 for $10? How could I go wrong on that one??? Ha. And I told my husband I needed a candy bar because I really, really wanted chocolate...so he brought me a box of mint chocolate chip sandwich bars. Yes, he loves me...plump. Really, that was awesome of him because he didn't want to. Felt it was ruining my diet and did it because he knew I was upset when he told me so. Oh, had shell pasta w/sauce for lunch and almost had a pork roast, shredded and mixed in white rice for dinner, but after I served the boys portions and before I could serve ours, our dear, dear Casey dog decided to plant her large doggy paws on my cupboard drawers and help herself to the entire bowl on the counter. Ok, so she didn't actually eat it all. I heard her and she got booted O-U-T. Shawn made me relent and let her sleep inside. She spent most of today outside as well. So Shawn got a DiGiorno pizza and I had 1/4 or 1 of Shawn's slices or 2 of mine, however you want to go with it. But I walked. Yep, I walked so it wasn't a total bust. It just wasn't my best day.

Today, Sunday. Church is at one so we definitely get lunch first. Today, I only slept until 10 am rather than 11 am (I am so just trying to catch up on 11 years of beauty sleep and my kids can finally feed themselves enough to get a start on it). I got up and showered and made french toast with our wonderfully-fresh-yesterday-afternoon eggs. I do love our chickens. Oh, side note, they eat all the time. They come running to the door of their coop (ehh, dog run) whenever a person comes out, but you can tell a difference between just hoping you have a snack for them and their feeder/water is out. It's kind of funny. They're like ravenous velociraptors (that's what Shawn called them today. Said they were pecking at his legs the entire time he was in there getting eggs. you'd think they don't ever get fed, though really they get food - a lot of food - every other day). Tig got in yesterday when I was getting the eggs & put the chickens on point. It was funny/scary. He didn't actually go after them, but that might have had more to do with the fact that the dang things crammed themselves into a corner by me. Casey would have had one in her mouth or at least sent them flying everywhere. Wow. Seriously long side story. Anyway, along with the french toast, I had 2 sausage links, 1 egg, & about 1/2 cup hash browns. Dinner was probably more than I needed as well. I had 2 grilled cheese & ham sandwiches and 1 cup of beef and barley soup. We'll see if I can control the sweet intake tonight because the days not over yet and I plan on folding clothes while watching a movie so...Guess my hands will be busy folding clothes. That seems to help. Oh, no walking today on the treadmill, but I get to count the constant walking I did during Primary. :)

Day 5

I feel okay about Day 5. Not fabulous, but ok. I weighed myself and was down 2.6 lbs. I had most of my breakfast burrito, a 12 oz Coke and then some left over salad from Food for Thought. For dinner, I made flavored potatoes (green onion, sour cream, cheese, potato skins), a moderate portion of steak, and sauteed mushrooms. I took one bite of the buttered roll. I did GOOD...and then I finished off the part I hadn't eaten with additional potatoes after my run and soak. Oh, forgot to list my snack of salami, cheese and crackers and the ice cream. But I can feel good because I was sensible about it. I decided to try the lite dry cut salami and I did the 5 piece recommended serving size and then used one slice of Pepper Jack Cheese and 10 crackers (cut the salami in half). Normally I would use regular salami (the lite was pork and turkey rather than just pork. Couldn't tell) and I would eat as much as I wanted. It was enough. I also ate the ice cream slowly and instead of eating a lot, I ate just a little bit, not even half a cup. It was okay. I may not succeed every time, but this time I did and I felt good about it.

I didn't walk the entire 2 miles this time. I did make 1.68 miles. A tad disappointed in myself, but my legs ached. Not again.

I have found myself being a lot more consciencious about how much I'm eating of any given thing. As long as I can continue to be this aware, I stand a good chance of keeping it up.

Day 4 and yet more to use as an excuse

Yeah, and I had McDonald's this morning again. I also got a small Coke (but I only drank 1/3 of it-yahy kimm!). Oh what a morning. It started at 4 am. Ok, so Shawn, Riley and I didn't actually get to bed until 12:30 last night (Riley's schedule is sooooo screwed up) so 4 came really early. Shawn has been experiencing pain lately in his right side and we've been assuming it might just be a kidney stone. Well, it was so bad this morning (been there with that one) that he couldn't sleep. It woke me up, but of course that is because I am such a devoted and caring wife, and we discussed whether he should go into the ER or wait for Dr. Gregson's office to be open. He was in a lot of pain, it was 4 in the morning and 9 wasn't coming any too soon, so Shawn got dressed and headed to the ER. Of course, being that I'm the devoted wife, I couldn't get back to sleep very easily. The last time I looked at the clock was 5:28. Shawn finally got some real information at 6:30 and he sent me a text to let me know that he wasn't going to find anything out until he could get an ultrasound at 7:30 (when they started work). Well, they actually had determined that it was his Gall Bladder and that he may be headed into surgery, but that was it. Nice, real information huh? Poor man just had to lay there in pain for that long just to find out he had to wait longer. I gave up even trying to sleep when my alarm went off at 6:50. But, on the bright side, my kids were seriously on time/early for school today. :)

As it turned out, I left the house with Riley in a rather big hurry to take him to his grandparents (Thank you again Joan and Brett) and didn't pack a thing to eat so I headed to McDonald's. I really don't care for much of anything on their menu (chicken nuggets aren't bad) but I do love their breakfast sandwiches. So, I stopped to get something and just after I ordered found out Shawn was headed home because it wasn't apparently surgery worthy today as it is just a thickening of his Gall Bladder wall that is causing him such intense pain. He really hurts. :( So, late to work, but made it anyway. Really pretty sore all over from my fall yesterday. My right bicep really hurts and I don't even remember hitting my right arm. But, I just walked my 2 miles at 2.5 mph. I didn't want to. I looked at the time when I was only at 17 min and I was ready to be done. My heels hurt, my legs hurt, my arms hurt. Thank you Kristen for suggesting that I read a book if I'm walking on the treadmill cause that's the only thing that kept me going today, oh and the fact that I just didn't want to quit on myself. I made it. 48 minutes later I made it.

Food log: Feeling snacky. My McDonald's is listed above. Nothing additional to that. I had 3 bites of pork chops cubed at work before I had a paper plate full of one of the best Cobb salads ever from Food For Thought. I don't want to say full like I normally have my salad plate full, but there was plenty there. I also have eaten an apple today. I had a sensible size of pork chops and about 1/2 cup rice (with the sauce) for dinner. Not enough water today. I ate 3 whoppers balls from the pooping moose Shawn brought home. He suggested that I take it to work, but I told him no. Too big of a temptation because I'd have to keep stuff to fill it with. I had one miniature mint and cream Hershey's bar, the one's that come in the variety bags. I ate a little less than half a bag of microwave popcorn. Not light, but I could have eaten all of it. I think I'm going to piece at an orange to try to stave off the snacking. Oh, I also had two of the smaller cans of V8 at work that I forgot about. I bought those instead of the 20 pack of Coke I wanted to buy.

Day 3 and the fall...

Okay, so today was interesting. A lot. I got up and got ready for work. As I stood in front of my freezer I found myself facing a dilemma. I didn't want my breakfast burrito. Not even a little bit. What I wanted was a breakfast sandwich from McDonald's. Call it a failure if you will, but I decided I was going to do it. I don't want to fail and find myself binging and so I guess I justified it. I looked up the calories of a Sausage McMuffin (370 calories) and said, "if I eat that sandwich I can't have anything else until I have a snack and then I really need to go light until lunch." I was okay with that. Then of course I had to get a coke. But! All a la carte drinks at McDonald's are $1 and I still got the small. It was hard. I read in an article (apparently I read a lot of them, or I at least will make you think so) that only in America can you pay less for more. It made sense. I really had a hard time paying the same price for a small drink as a large or xl drink. But I did it because I didn't need more (okay, I didn't need that either but it's called weaning).

Ok, so I make stories long. I got to work, I was carrying my precious cargo into the office, sandwich bag in one hand, coke in the other and next thing I know I'm doing pirouettes, spinning in circles trying to catch onto either my car or the one next to it and I'm no longer on my feet. Heck, for all I know I've just done an amazing flip in the air and an equally amazing landing on the ever so practical left knee (right on the knee cap) and left elbow. Actually, my arm kind of hurts all the way to my left palm where the scratches can actually be found. It was like walking on glass in socks. I remember laying on the ground thinking about the fact that I'd just crushed my precious coke. I looked up a little and found it lying on it's side. I quickly righted it before I could lose any more of it's precious nectar and decided I needed to sit up at the very least as I'd seen a co-worker parking his truck in the lower lot and didn't really want him to find me lying on the ground. Oh, I have to admit that I'm pretty sure I said two very bad words. Sorry. It hurt A LOT! I didn't cry though. In fact, when Jim came up the steps I was in control enough to say, "Hi Jim." He made his way to me, asked if I was ok and then collected all my crap (purse, wallet that had fallen out of my purse, keys, McDonald's bag and cup) and took it into the office, but not before he asked if he could help me up. I told him thank you and no, I thought I'd sit there for a few minutes more. I then here Crystal click-clacking her way out to find me sitting in the parking lot. I managed to get to my feet (I can't remember if Crystal helped me or not now) and Crystal was kind enough to brush the coke out of my hair. Oh, I did forget to mention the blood that was welling up out of my knee and onto my pants. It was fun hobbling into the office with my pant leg up above my knee until I could get a band aid on.

So. I did not run tonight. I did however walk instead. I walked at a leisurely 2.5 mph, but I did it for 2 miles (50 minutes). I'm going to count that as a success.

Now for the food. I'm no longer on a diet. I am instead just simply attempting to change my eating habits to be healthier while adding exercise. Okay, so it's not actually simple. What I realized today though was that I can't starve myself and some of my support doesn't think I'm actually dieting unless I am. So, as a nutrition teacher once told me (yes, I actually took a nutrition class for credit my Freshman year of college), diets suck. It actually has the word "die" in it so it can't be that good. Instead I'm going to Liveit. I can't really remember what she called it instead. :) I am still deadly serious about this. I want to change my lifestyle. I didn't put the weight on in 3 months and I'm not looking to take it off in 3 months. I want to change my habits at the very core. I want to eat the good things in life, but I want to eat sensible and healthy portions. I don't want to feel like I'm starving every day. I don't want to think about food constantly. It took me 5 years to put on this last 20 lbs. I will lose 50 in a year. I will lose it by eating smaller portions and trying very hard to eat healthier foods and make healthier choices. If you've never checked it out, I love Eat This, Not That. They have a wonderful news letter that I get in my email. I will exercise which is such a foreign concept for me. I will do it daily. I will go hiking with my husband this summer. And I won't cry half way there like I did the last time we went (and I think I only weighed about 140 then, but I was still out of shape).

So, I'm really sorry if I've disappointed anyone, but as much as I appreciate the support, this is for me and I need to do something I can actually accomplish. If I make my goals unreasonable I won't do anything but disappoint myself. So...Here I go. Today I had my breakfast sandwich, an orange, a 16 oz coke (too much still) and not enough water (bad Kimm). I ate half my half can of soup, some of my salad with chicken on it. I ate an orange when I got home. I've had no chocolate today (good Kimm). I did sneak about 6 or so sauteed mushrooms that I was using in my pork chops and rice dinner I was cooking for the boys. I then used a small roll plate and gave myself a sensible amount of the pork chops and rice. Oh, I read that if you use smaller plates you trick your mind into eating less because your plate looks fuller. I'm going to eat an apple. Oh, I also had a strawberry yogurt because I was craving something sweet. By the time I hit dinner I was really hungry but I made it until dinner. I wasn't sensible by not eating all my lunch but today was not a salad day. I wasn't loving my salad. Oh, and I didn't like the soup. Yuck. New brand from Winco, Chicken Tortilla. Probably good, I just didn't like it. I also made my pork chops and rice with water instead of milk (1 can cream of chicken soup, one can golden cream of mushroom soup). So overall, I actually don't feel too bad about today. Not the best but not bad. Now I get to go weigh myself. Wish me luck.

Day 2 a Bust

So today not so much. I can't really say it's a total bust because as far as dieting goes I'm living up to the diet part. No food log today because I haven't had much food. I did eat 3/4 of my breakfast burrito and a thing of yogurt. I also binged on a hot chocolate this morning. 16 oz was the smallest and I drank about 2/3 of it. I had 3 sips of coke. All before 10:30 am at which time I left work because I didn't feel good at all. No, it actually had nothing to do with my breakfast, I think I just have some kind of bug. It hit me fast. I was actually feeling fine this morning, a bit hungry because I didn't eat enough last night, but fine. Then, I just started gradually feeling lousy and my stomache started to really hurt until I thought I was going to throw up so I left work sick. Haven't thrown up yet and hope I don't. I slept from the time I got home until kids came home at 3 and I don't feel like throwing up anymore, but I'm not sure about the rest. I'm hungry but I'm not if that makes sense. I've tried a few vegetables and I'll try the rice I'm making for dinner, but nothing sounds very good to me.

I'm not running tonight. That's why it's a bust. In fact I don't feel like doing much of anything. I just want to lay down. Not feverish though. Oh, on the plus side, I did run on the treadmill last night. I decided that I needed to do it if I was serious about this regardless of how tired I was. So I ran. 30 minutes on the weight loss program 1 on my treadmill. This program changes speeds and incline by the minute. There is a 2 min warmup going from 2.5 to 3 mph. Then I start in 3 min to 1 min cycles. I briskly walk 3 min at 3.5 mph with the incline going from 3 to 6 degrees (%?) for each minute and then it goes to a 0 incline and increases to 4 mph ( a jog for me) for one minute and then back to inclining for the next 3 minutes. We go through this 3 min at 3.5 mph and 1 min at 4 mph cycle for 24 min. The other 6 are warm up and cool down times. So I was proud of my one day. Now I just need to conquer the next 364.

Thank you again for your support. I can't tell you how awesome it is to have hints, tips and suggestions. It's been wonderful. Thank you.

End of Day 1

So I can finish my first day as almost a complete success. Shawn thinks my "diet" isn't a real diet because I haven't denied myself everything good and wonderful in life. I informed him that I wasn't trying to starve myself and lose 30 lbs in 3 weeks, I was trying to make a lifestyle change and lose it a little more gradually. Oh, and I'm totally addicted to food. I'm an addict. I spent 2 hours watching a show on the tv and all I could think about was food. What I'd like to eat, what would taste good, how I'd love an entire carton of ice cream...And that's with me NOT denying myself much of anything. It's amazing I remember anything about the show.

I did forget to mention the 12 oz can of Coke I had (I think? I don't want to go back and look) but I did drink 24 oz of water to go along with it. The Coke was a deal breaker for Shawn. :) Oh well, it kept me sane and in control at work. I wanted to munch and snack so bad. What else do you do when you are sitting in front of a computer for 5 hours?

I really do have some mind hurdles to get over though. I wasn't hungry at all during work. I was satisfied. I am hungry right now, but I think part of that is all the food thoughts. For dinner I had 1/2 can of soup and a salad with ranch and italian dressing. I also had 2 squares of the most delicious milk chocolate and rice crispy crunch (Gihradelis - sp?) there is (its'a new kind of bar they have out) and each square was 50 calories. I thought I should eat only one, wanted to eat all 8 of them and settled on 2. So a triumph of sorts. Actually the fact that even though I was fantasizing about food during the entire show and I didn't get up and get any of it was a good thing for me too. I really wanted popcorn. BAD.

Exercise. Hmmm...I told myself I was going to run at 9 and I really need to do it even though I still have to get Riley down, would love to just lay down and sleep for 2 days solid, and am trying to justify the brisk walk I took around the park with Casey earlier as a complete substitute. Hmm. May just have to report on my success with this challenge tomorrow.

Official day 1

Didn't sit down and plan my day out last night so I'm going to have to do that today, but I started anyway. I made my lunch last night before going to bed and that made a world of difference. So, my food journal so far reads:
Breakfast burrito (homemade - eggs, mushrooms, bacon pieces & cheese); strawberry yogurt; orange (my midmorning snack); salad (w/some grilled chicken chunks, corn salsa (homemade - corn, tomatoes, cilantro and onion); celery & green peppers (dipped in ranch that was also used for salad); 1/2 bagle turkey and ham sandwich (cut whole bagle in half - 2 slices turkey, 1 slice ham, chive and onion cream cheese ( as little as possible) on both top and bottom, alfalfa sprouts). I forgot that I was going to do either a half sandwich or a small bowl of soup (1/2 can or about 1 cup) and I brought both. I left the soup for tomorrow instead. I also took one apple (sliced) for my afternoon snack, but I wasn't ready for it so I am going to have it around 3:30 or 4. Still have to do dinner and then make it to bed, but it's been a good start.

Ok, so I still have to fit my treadmill exercise in. I'm thinking around 9 pm because all boys should be down. I will weigh myself at 10 pm every night. I know that morning would be better, but I just don't have time right now to get downstairs (where the scale is hidden from Riley) and weigh myself before getting boys to school. Night time it is. I did take Casey over to the park with all the kids and walked one lap around (briskly mind you) while the kids played. Wrong dog to take if I want to do more. She has the spirit but her body isn't up to it. Started a second lap but we had to come home because she was barely walking. I'm glad we made it home actually.

I will post the rest of my day at the end of the day hopefully. So far I feel good about today.

Snowshoeing with the family

Riley

Riley, Kimm, Kyler, Bayden & Tig

Bayden

At the bottom of the hill. Only way to go was up.

Shawn

This was my first time snoeshowing and it was fun.

Almost There

So still didn't go full out today, but I did eat breakfast and it made a world of difference. I wasn't hungry until lunch time. Too bad I didn't pack a lunch. :) Also took a break to walk up and down the stairs at work a couple of times. Pretty pathetic how winded I got just going down and up twice. I did drink twice as much water as I did soda and I only had one 12 oz soda. Little steps.

We're doing a sleepover tonight with Madison and Broderic. My boys have been waiting all day long. Have I mentioned how tired I am? Guess it's a good thing they aren't a problem and right at home here. :) Also a good thing their old enough to get their own breakfast. I am not getting up early tomorrow.

Still Planning

Okay, so to stay true to keeping track, I am doing an entry tonight even though I haven't technically started my big diet plan yet. I am starting in earnest on Monday. Instead of just jumping in and trusting to my unwavering will power (hahahaha) like I normally do and then feeling like a failure come Friday when I didn't even last one day, I am taking the time to actually plan. There are some things I need to get done so that I can start right. I need to sit down and make some serious meal plans. I need to shop for those meal plans. Last night I made my two weeks worth of breakfast burritos. I need to actually buy a scale. 11 years of marriage and we don't own a scale. Huh. Then I need to hide said scale under my bathroom sink in my downstairs bathroom so my darling Riley won't abscond with it, or jump on it, or submerge it in the bathwater. I need to find my tape measure and then find a more secure place to hide it so my precious Riley won't find it. Honestly, it's a wonder I'm not thinner with Riley around.

But, to prove to myself I'm actually serious about this, I did limit myself to one 12oz can of Coke today. I really wanted a second. I was sooooo tired. I also drank a 24 oz bottle of water (reusable so I'm being earth friendly). I also tried not to snack the entire time I was at work, but I broke one of the major rules in not doing breakfast this morning. I do notice that if I skip breakfast I can't stop snacking where if I eat breakfast I don't feel the need to as much.

I read something today about how many times an overweight person chews their food compared to a moderate weight person and a thin person. Did you know that an overweight person chews their food about 11 times before swallowing? The moderate weight person is closer to 12 times and the thin person chews 14 times. That reminded me of another article I read that the longer you chew your food the more time your body has to feel full. Yup, I chew closer to the 11 times than the 14 times. I'm shooting for the 14 times. Actually, I'm hoping if I can chew about 18 times when I remind myself I'll eventually chew 14 times out of habit when I'm not reminding myself. Hahaha. Does anyone else remember learning/hearing that in the military you are taught to chew your food 30 times before swallowing. I remember that from some movie or something. I also remember trying to chew my food 30 times and I could never make it. It seemed ridiculous. Still can't hit 30 but I'll try for closer to 20.

Haven't gotten on the treadmill yet. Trying to figure out the best way to do it. If I do it when Riley is awake he wants to play. If I wait for him to sleep I'm running at 11 at night right now. I love my Riley. Ok. So there's my first report. Feel free to remind me if I miss a day or two. It's all about accountability. Thank you all for your support too. It means a lot.
Kimm

Here is my resolution. Click on it and you can see it larger. page 2

Diet: The beginning

So I have decided to use this as my journal of sorts to help me stick to my brand new weight loss goal. I am going to lose 50+ lbs in a year. One year. My reward? I get to take $1000 of our tax return next February and buy an entirely new wardrobe. Because I need the support of friends and family, I am going to keep myself accountable by keeping a record on this blog. So, in between kids pics and family updates I am going to be sharing my frustrations, tactics and other ups and downs as I try to lose weight. No, I am not trying to get back to my high school weight. It wouldn't be a healthy weight for me at this point. My goal is to weigh between 145 and 155 lbs. I am at my biggest I have ever been and I'm tired of feeling fat, looking overweight in pictures and fitting my clothes a lot too well. I am also not trying to just lose weight quickly. My goal is to lose the weight but to be able to keep it off by changing my lifestyle over the next year so once it is off I can keep it off. Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers because my Heavenly Father is going to be a big part of this.
Kimm

Oh, and check out the fish at the bottom! If you click on your mouse you can feed them and they will follow you around.

Concert in the Pines part 2

This is the second part of the concert. Watch the first part before beginning this masterpiece.

This was a concert that was in the works as of yesterday. I'll post the second part as soon as I see if this works. I am treated to these very special shows more frequently since they can't jump on the trampoline all afternoon. It's kind of nice. I just need to keep my camera battery charged.

Riley is his own personal fashion advisor. I'm not taking credit for this one.

So We're joining the 21st Century (finally) and getting a blog. Hmmm. Not sure why though. We have a miriad of sites to keep up to date with people (myfamily.com, facebook, plaxo, 7 or 8 email addresses) and we don't really use them to update anything about ourselves as it is so this could be an experiment in futility as well. Guess we'll see.

So, basically we live in Pocatello, Idaho. Shawn was raised here and his parents still live here. Kimm was not raised here but has lived here for the last 13 years so I guess I must like it. Actually, we both really like it. We love the access to all the outdoor stuff. We also like the size and location. Close enough to Salt Lake to visit.

Kyler turned 9 in August. He was 4'11" in October and weighed 89lbs. He's huge. He's a very good reader but the only thing that seems to motivate him to read at home is that he can't play his Nintendo DS unless he's done his reading. Apparently I can't get him to read at home and his teacher can't get him to stop reading at school. We made the decision when he was 5 to hold him back from starting school until the next year. We decided we'd rather have him as one of the oldest in his class than the youngest. We haven't been disappointed with this choice yet, though it wasn't an easy choice to make. Kyler is in the 3rd grade.

Bayden is halfway to 8. His birthday is in June. It's a big one this year. He can't wait to get baptised. He was disappointed he has to wait until July. Bayden is in the 1st grade this year. Just like with Kyler, we decided that we would rather have him as one of the oldest rather than graduating at 17. He's a big kid as well, we just haven't measured him lately. Time for a doctor's visit I guess. When you look at him next to Kyler, he doesn't seem so big, but then Kyler is 2 years older. When you look at him next to some of his classmates, you realize he really is a big kid as well. Wonder just how tall they're going to get. They could stop growing at 5'9" but I just don't think that will happen. Time will tell. Bayden is picking up on the reading thing and doing well with his math. He enjoys school a lot and has no issues with playing with girls. Apparently he hangs out with his cousin Noemi at recess. All the little girls at church make sure to say hi and bye to him weekly. Every time we go to a school function he has quite a few little girls that say "Bye Bayden." Guess when you're not afraid to play with them they like you...

Riley is a very active 4 year old. He'll be 5 in March. He will start Kindergarten next year. He's really excited. We're really excited. He's VERY inquisitive. Everything that has batteries is examined minutely. He just got a Ben 10 watch and within 20 minutes he'd taken the back off to see how many batteries it had and where they were located. He got batteries for Christmas and it was one of his favorite gifts. He's already used half of them. He loves to clean though his room is never clean. He loves to wash dishes and windows. Tonight he has cousins visiting so their mom can do a birthday date and we were getting them set up in the playroom to watch a movie. He informed me that we needed to make a bed with pillows & ran to his room to get them. He then told me, "mom, I'm a genius about the pillows huh." That's my boy. He loves animals, but he can be mean to them too. He figured out how to turn his computer games on without help at 2 and uses the mouse like a pro with his right hand even though he is most definitely left-handed.

Shawn has worked at the same job for the last 13+ years. He is currently the House Supervisor at Belmont Care Center, which is a home that takes care of mentally delayed clients 24 hrs a day. They run programs during the day until 2:30 p.m. and then have a residential situation the remaining part of the day/evening/night. He is over the 2:30 p.m. to 6:30 a.m. shift. He also is an administrator of another home setup with 3 clients. He deals with staffing and client needs. He is very good at his job and I'm ever so proud of him. Shawn is an avid hunter and is not restricted to October as the only month he hunts. He seems to go all year long. He starts big game in August and then sprinkles some bird hunting in throughout the fall. He's taken up trapping to carry him through March, though currently he hasn't been out to do that. We camp as often as we can (which hasn't seemed that often the last few years) during the summer and always make a trip Memorial weekend. We try to go to Salmon ID for that trip, though the last 2 years haven't worked out and we've had to stay closer to home. Shawn has brought the love of the outdoors to our little mix and we're willing to share it with friends and family.

Kimm has worked for the Idaho Dpt of Fish and Game for the last 8.5 years. I am a Financial Support Tech which means I sit at a computer and don't go into the field. Nor do I have a Biology degree of any kind. I do paperwork. I answer phones, do invoices that we need to pay, data entry on vehicle reports, and I can sell a license like no other (okay, actually there are a lot of other people that can sell licenses as good or better than I can, but it's my blog). I enjoy my job and only work 28 hrs a week. I work from 8:30 to 2 and get home by 2:15 which is just in time to kiss Shawn goodbye, accept responsibility for the kids, so he can get to work by 2:30. We see each other when he gets off at 10:45 and weekends. It's worked for the last 8 years so we can do it. :)

We also have had the neat opportunity to spend time with Shawn's sister Janie's two children. Janie passed away a year ago and we miss her immensely. We get to spend Monday and Tuesdays with Madison and Broderic though and we love them so much. They are wonderful kids and have brought a lot of creativity and smiles to our lives. Madison is 10 and Broderic is 7, so they are the perfect ages for Kyler and Bayden and they actually get along pretty well. There is the occasional fight and they can spend too much time together though they'll never admit it. They are constantly (it's equal among all of them) asking to play at one house or the other and want to see each other what seems to be daily. I have recorded two productions they've come up with so far and expect to record more. Once I get them edited to Madison's taste I'll post them somewhere.

So this is my very first post. Hopefully it doesn't stay up as the only post for too long.