Sunday, February 21, 2010

New Beginnings

So Tomorrow I am going to try again. I've failed miserably, but I've failed myself and that shouldn't be acceptable. So I'm going to try again. Forgive and forget right? Well, that's only if you can stop doing the thing that needs to be forgiven. So I need to stop slacking off. My goal this week is to run. I need to run on my treadmill.

The boys have been doing their chores. It's been wonderful. They didn't earn the $2.50 for last week. Ky and Bayden each earned $1.50 and Riley earned $1. But they still did most of their chores so it was a success. Kyler wants to get paid for each sticker (10 cents each) but I told him that wasn't how it was going to work. They get paid only if they do the chore 5 times. We've done the 10 cents per sticker thing before and there's not enough incentive.

Not very lively tonight. I think I'm tired. I got to actually conduct closing exercises for junior primary today and it was amazingly draining. Blah. We had ward conference and because we have about 90 active kids we had to split them up. It worked, but not necessarily smoothly. Glad it's not a usual occurrence. I got to lead but I wasn't prepared to actually come up with songs so the primary pianist wasn't thrilled with me when I asked what songs we were singing. Heehee. But it went well enough and it's over so I'm good. So boring night, nothing fun to report, I want to go to bed.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

And it's finally over...

Okay, so today wasn't bad but I'm glad it's over. My head is POUNDING and my eyes are burning. I've had a few late nights and fitful nights so I'm back on the super-tired wagon. It hasn't helped what I have determined to be one heck of a sinus infection. Going on one full week and 2 days and it doesn't show signs of leaving. I'm finally starting to be able to hear a little bit more. I'm now spending more of the day with clear hearing than not. I think part of my eye problem is that I used my new Mary Kay eye makeup remover and I didn't wash it off with water before opening my eyes. Supposedly I'm shouldn't have to wash it off because it's the miracle stuff that takes the makeup off but won't hurt your eyes. Well, the stinging seems to indicate otherwise for me. It may work that way for most, but I don't think I'm a winner in this category. Of course, I've been having some pretty painful times with my seriously sensitive eyes lately. I actually didn't know my eyes were so very sensitive. I think it's an age thing. :)

Still haven't run on my treadmill and the second night of Navajo tacos aren't a good indicator that I'm losing weight. So, like how I snuck that in and then just moved on? Oh, I'm moving on by the way. I've made a weekly chore chart for my boys. I've decided to pay them a commission (thank you Mr. Dave Ramsey) for certain jobs that they have to do. They each have 5 things they have to do 5 times a week. That gives them 2 days of wiggle room. So far they are using them. They have to do the job all 5 times for that week to get the 50 cents for that job. Slave driver? Well, I really struggled paying them for something they should be doing because they are members of the family, but I needed to give them some incentive and they really want to earn money. They say they do anyway. First week and actually, it's not going half bad. The key though turns out to be my consistency rather than theirs. I have to ride them pretty hard every night to get it done, but they don't actually seem to view it as nagging or totally negative because they're getting paid to do it. They have the potential to earn $10 a month. They get half to put in their spending jar, $4 goes into their long-term saving jar and 10% goes to tithing. Money management and they're learning to clean. It's been good for me too. Tonight they didn't get to go to Madi and Brodi's house to play because they chose to go play at the park and watch TV rather than do their chores like they'd been told 4 times. They still had to do their chores though. Someday, when they're completely trained, I'm going to look back and say, "It was so worth it."

So, trying to find my desire to get thin again, but making other changes in my life as well, so not a total bust life-wise in my eyes. Just not getting me any closer to that healthy heart and new wardrobe. Sigh.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Happy Presidents Day

It is President's Day right? I'm off work, but I don't remember the name of the Holiday. Anyway, I really have to get back on here. I have taken too many days off. I've been dealing with a kicker of a head cold for almost a week now. 6 Days to be exact. I haven't done any running and I've eaten crap to my hearts content. Well, maybe to my minds content. My heart could do with a lot less of it actually. Oh, and I'm doing scones tonight. Hope my heads happy.

Had a really good Valentine's Day. Shawn and I went out Saturday night. It started iffy. I got the baby sitter and decided to go to Red Lobster because Shawn loves it and we haven't been in a while, but when we got there people were waiting outside. I got discouraged actually and kind of spiraled down. My plans were no longer good and I didn't want to make anymore so I pouted. Shawn tried to pick somewhere else, but when we got close I commented that I didn't want to go to Butter Burrs because I didn't know that's where he kind of really wanted to go. So we drove around for almost half an hour finding out that everywhere was just packed. We finally wound up at Chili's with a 35 min wait (70 min at Red Lobster) and had our dinner. It was nice enough considering my pouting. Then we drove around trying to figure out what to do next. I'd looked at movie options and there was nothing that I wanted to spend real money on except The Book of Eli and that didn't even start until 10 and I didn't want to wait until then & be out that late. Baby sitter's aren't cheap. In our driving we managed to drive past Tough Guy Bowling Lanes. I suggested to Shawn, almost as a joke, that we go bowling. He surprised me and said "Sure, I'd actually like to bowl with you rather than watch you bowl." The last time we went bowling was w/the Cub Scouts for Kyler and Shawn just watched. Lots of people and all. So we went bowling. It was a blast! It was like a real date. We actually had to interact. :) I won the first two games (something like 152 to 140 something and then 118 to 98 or so) and then Shawn got a ball that finally fit better (fingers and weight) and he won the last game (179 to 98). So we are going to go bowling again. We are going to try to do more active things rather than movies. We had fun. Lots of fun. It made us feel young again. :)

Friday, February 12, 2010

Oh so sick...

Okay, so I'm still sick and just don't feel like doing anything. Good news is that I haven't eaten much cause I'm just not terribly hungry. Bad news is I haven't run because I just don't care. I felt better today than the last two and went to work, but the longer the day wears on the worse I'm feeling. I need a nap, but as it happens, I am letting Kyler and Bayden try wrestling and it starts tonight. Bayden really wanted to and when I asked Ky he said he'd like to try. Not sure it's his speed, but just in case my observation is off, I'm glad he's trying it. He said he doesn't want to do baseball this summer. He really, really wants to do basketball. So, wrestling, something I never really considered a sport because it wasn't something anyone in my house did. Anyway, don't feel good, want to go to bed, but not going to happen.

So Riley had a doctors appointment this morning. He knew he was getting shots because his brothers have been teasing him all week. He was nervous and gave the doctor a hard time because he thought the doctor was going to spring the shots on him at any moment. The nurse gave the shots. He's a fighter. Anyway, I forgot to give Shawn his immunization record so I left work and ran it down and stayed for the appointment. Riley climbed up on my lap and I wrapped my arms around his middle. As the sides of my clasped hands rested on the tops of his thighs, I felt something hard and rectangular bulging through his pants. Now, if you've spent much time around Riley you know he doesn't much care for underwear, so when I reached down his pants to pull out the hard object stuffed down his pants, Shawn thought I was just checking to see if he had underwear on. He couldn't figure out why I was fishing down his pants. Yes, I was grateful that neither the doctor or the nurse was in the room. Shawn's face was worth it though when instead of explaining what I was doing, I produced Kyler's Nintendo DS from Riley's underwear. Yeah, and I had to clean it off. Shawn was completely surprised because he had no idea Riley had it at all. I'm glad he opted for the underwear because the pants weren't tight enough to ensure it wouldn't slip down his leg. :) That's my boy.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


So, here I am. I feel like crap but my adoring fan(s) call, and call, and call... :) Thank you for keeping me honest Angie. I've sucked it up. Big time. I basically need to start over. I actually have noticed that I eat less at major meals, but I really have to get control of the snacking. And I haven't run in a while. Probably a week and that's the building block of my weight loss. So, have to get that down. Seriously. Last week sucked because of all the hormones. This week I have one of those nasty can't-smell-need-to-cough-every-few-minutes-want-to-sleep colds. I'm not running tonight. I don't care how many people tell me it will make me feel better. No. I started out not hot this morning, but if I'm going to take a day off work to be sick, I'm going to take a day I don't have to leave my house. If I took today I would have had to leave to pick up Madi & Broderic and that ruins the whole be home sick thing so I toughed it out. Started out better than it ended. I kept feeling worse and worse as the day went on. I ache and I just want to lay down. I should be doing this from my bed on the tablet/laptop I borrowed from Trent. It's about 4 years newer than my laptop and you can tell. It actually works! But I'm not. I just tidied up the front room in case Shawn has a date come home with him (he's playing basketball at the church) so he won't be embarrassed. I still need to get Riley to go to sleep. But it's hard because I just don't care except he's totally driving me crazy. I know, that doesn't make any sense, but right now everything is really hazy and foggy.

Makenzie turned 8 today so we went to her family party. It was nice. She got a karaoke machine. I'm so not jealous. Happy for her of course. Heeheehee. It's not coming to visit at my house. Saw Grandma and Grandpa Campbell. Kyler went to give Grandma a hug goodbye and he attacked the task a little to vigorously. Catching the tail end of it was like watching a quarterback get sacked. Trent and Grandpa had just gotten Grandma to her feet when Kyler went in for the hug. He ended up on top of her. Fortunately the couch was right behind her so she ended up sitting back down. No one was injured thankfully. Oh, and cranky me just smacked my son in the arm and boy were there waterworks. I don't know when he became so dramatic. This is the 3rd time today (first time I've smacked him) that they've shown up. I turned his movie off earlier and you'd think I'd just killed his fish or cut his arm off. So can't deal today. So there it is, adoring fan. Just for you. :) Love you

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

#3 Inner-Directed

Okay, so yesterday was yesterday. I'm much better today. I'm not even going to dwell on what kind of damage I did to my weight because that other Kimm was in control. She's gone for at least a month though so we should be good. Maybe someday she'll get on board with eating healthy, though I'm not going to hold my breath. But, I guess if it's only one day a month that she visits and wreaks havoc on my eating I can just run extra another day. I'm kind of afraid of her. She's super cranky.

Now the third characteristic of a goal from Good Housekeeping: Inner-directed. "You need to lose weight for your own reasons, not because you're comparing yourself to some ideal. You shouldn't try to fit into anyone's clothes but your own." So, right now I don't even fit into my own clothes so I'm not looking to fit into anyone else's. :) Really, I do have an ideal of how I want to look, but it's not like any one specific person out there. I want to look like the Kimm I see in the bathroom mirror when I'm standing in front of the split between the right hand mirror and the middle mirror sections. There is no gap. They butt right up next to each other and when I stand there 1/4 of my body disappears and I'm suddenly thinner. That's my ideal, so I can actually visualize what I would look like. Is that what they're talking about? No, I'm not trying to get as think as some super model that doesn't eat. I don't have any grand plans of being the same size I was in high school. I'm actually more comfortable with my body, even at the size it is, than I ever was when I was thin as a rail. But that's still not terribly comfortable so I'm going to do something about it. I have started to go through clothing magazine's and say "Oooh. I want to wear that!" when I see something I like. I don't want to be the model though. But still, it's not just about the size for me. It's also about my health. I need to be healthier like I need air to breath.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Tuesday Crappers!

So I'm not today. I'm not doing anything. I just don't care and I don't want to care today. I'm crampy, cranky and just downright ornery right now. I'm not running. I'm not watching what I eat and I'm not even going to care even a little bit. I'm going to curl up in a ball and rock back and forth until I go to bed. So, better tomorrow.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Just finished running for Mon. One day down, 5 more this week. I have to do this every night!

Characteristic #2 - Concrete

Okay, so the 2nd characteristic is Concrete - "It should be measurable and time-specific - for example, "I want to lose five pounds in four weeks." Actually, that is my goal. I want to lose 5 pounds in 4 weeks every 4 weeks until I hit my 50 lbs. So, my goal is measurable, time-specific and concrete. I accept that goal. It's more concrete actually than saying 50 lbs in one year. That allows me to put it off. I now have a more concrete goal of 5 lbs a month.

So, I asked Shawn to put the boys to bed last night. He was okay with that. What it meant though was that he had to put Riley down. We were doing pretty good for a while. Riley was actually going to bed in his bed and by himself. Not sure what changed, but for the last month it's been a battle. I've had to start laying with him to get him down in anything less than 2 hours of in and out of bed. So Shawn put Riley down last night. Yes, yes he did. That sweet, sweet funny man put Riley down without once threatening to spank him for getting up. Oh, there was still a threat, but it wasn't directed at Riley. No, the threat he used was that if Riley didn't stay in bed mom was going to spank dad and dad really didn't want to be spanked. It got Riley in bed initially. It didn't last long so Shawn reiterated that he was going to get in BIG TROUBLE and did Riley really want dad to get spanked? Riley apologized, "I didn't mean to get you in trouble dad." That lasted for a bit longer and then while I was taking a bath apparently Shawn had to remind Riley again, but this time he used visual effects. He showed him his arm, where he was sore from trying to start an auger, and the back of his knee where he had a cut from the gate to his dead room. He "showed" Riley the results of his injuries from Riley getting out of bed. I believe "wooden spoon" was used as well because Riley told me not to spank his dad with a wooden spoon today. Riley did stay in bed the last time but that may be the last time I ask Shawn to put him to bed. :) Guess that's one way to work it.