Okay, so yesterday was yesterday. I'm much better today. I'm not even going to dwell on what kind of damage I did to my weight because that other Kimm was in control. She's gone for at least a month though so we should be good. Maybe someday she'll get on board with eating healthy, though I'm not going to hold my breath. But, I guess if it's only one day a month that she visits and wreaks havoc on my eating I can just run extra another day. I'm kind of afraid of her. She's super cranky.
Now the third characteristic of a goal from Good Housekeeping: Inner-directed. "You need to lose weight for your own reasons, not because you're comparing yourself to some ideal. You shouldn't try to fit into anyone's clothes but your own." So, right now I don't even fit into my own clothes so I'm not looking to fit into anyone else's. :) Really, I do have an ideal of how I want to look, but it's not like any one specific person out there. I want to look like the Kimm I see in the bathroom mirror when I'm standing in front of the split between the right hand mirror and the middle mirror sections. There is no gap. They butt right up next to each other and when I stand there 1/4 of my body disappears and I'm suddenly thinner. That's my ideal, so I can actually visualize what I would look like. Is that what they're talking about? No, I'm not trying to get as think as some super model that doesn't eat. I don't have any grand plans of being the same size I was in high school. I'm actually more comfortable with my body, even at the size it is, than I ever was when I was thin as a rail. But that's still not terribly comfortable so I'm going to do something about it. I have started to go through clothing magazine's and say "Oooh. I want to wear that!" when I see something I like. I don't want to be the model though. But still, it's not just about the size for me. It's also about my health. I need to be healthier like I need air to breath.
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I felt the same way on Tuesday!! I was not a very nice mom or wife. I have been having some "I need out of this house" problems, oh and I just want to live closer to family, but I think that is always a problem. Anyway I know you can get through the crappy days because you are a strong women. Even though you may not feel strong all the time, you are! Good luck and yes I am still watching and laughing too. I loved the mirror person you want to be. I have done that same thing before and thought, "why can't I just be that size?"
ReplyDeleteSucks for both of you. I am still having a nice break from those lovely "womanly" attributes.
ReplyDeleteI think you are great even when you are cranky Kimm. Cause to be honest, when you are cranky, you make me laugh because you turn into a really ticked off comedian. And I love it. So BRING ON mean cranky crampy Kimm. :) Just not more than one day a month...
Melissa, wish you were closer too. Wish I could help with the get out of the house feeling. Actually, I don't know if I would be any help because I'm having a get out of the house feeling lately too and it's not happening.
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