Gardening

I started my gardening today. I've decided to have water channels so I dug 2 so I can plant peas along one and carrots along the other. I then made some for my onions as well. We'll see how it works this year. What's exciting about it is that I worked hard today. I actually got some exercise! I was out there about an hour and a half, digging and then stomping. I'm going to be sore tomorrow and I'm tired now, but in a good way. I think my husbands confused by how productive I've been the last two days. I hung 2 loads of laundry as well. How good am I?

And Summer is here...

Wow. I know, it's supposed to be Spring still but it hit 79 degrees today. How is that Spring? It was 75 yesterday. The kids want water under the tramp but I keep saying no until the canal water is turned on. I can't afford to use city water as often as they want to. If the weather doesn't cool off, I could guess we'll be getting the water turned on in a couple of weeks. Can't wait. Shawn cleaned up the yard in a major way since he couldn't go to Jocelyn's Baptism with us so it was my turn today. I cleaned out the front flower beds. I think it took me almost 2 hours. That's what I get for not cutting my roses back last year. I think we're going to give it a few more weeks before we plant the perennials though. Tomorrow I'm supposed to work on peas, onions and carrots in the garden. We got about 30 strawberry starts planted last week. I cleaned out the pots for the tomatoes in the green house. We used mostly what we had from last year but it was buggy from the year off it had. Not good. We had a dismal crop of tomatoes and it wasn't from lack of trying. Granted we got started late, but we'll do better this year. I'm waiting until we get our tomato plants before I put new potting soil in the pots. Also, we got 2 100 ft hoses from Home Depot Saturday and found we needed one more. They were an awesome price ($16 each). We also got 5 hose cradles so we can hang the hoses up next to their spigots. Is that the right word? Anyway, I had to throw out 3 hoses that the stupid Tig dog chewed the crap out of. Holes everywhere. We are set now though. I'm a dork when hoses make me happy. Now we just need sprinklers. Tig chewed those up too. We're going to do a much better job this year of reigning that dog in.

I put on a pedometer this morning. I also tried to work hard outside. I'm tired right this moment. I need some new pants but I don't want to buy 14's so I'm trying to at least lose a size so I can buy a new pair of pants. I've read that vigorous yard/garden work is excellent exercise. Oh and my fingers hurt at the nuckle, but I think that's from knitting.

More Riley Quips

So, my youngest is a video head. Yes, at 5 he plays waaaayyy too much on whatever video game console he can find. His current favorite is the Original Nintendo that we hooked up. He loves Mario Bros 3. Shawn said he can hum the different tunes based on what level he's on. Shawn listened to it all morning long and when he got Riley to come spend some time with him Shawn was humming the one of the tunes. Riley told Shawn that he was humming level 5. He knows where enough warp whistles are to get to the end and he has played the first world so much that he looks like a pro when you first come in to watch. Too much video playing? Well, tonight he was in playing and all the sudden I hear, "I killed him! Hooray for me!" It was hilarious. That's my boy, full of self affirming comments. You will frequently hear him congratulating himself with "good job" or "you did it!" He really doesn't need anyone else to do it for him. He rarely lets an opportunity pass without a few words of self encouragement. Guess I don't do enough for him. Shawn says he is imitating the Mario in voice. I guess he will come up with some slight pizzaria accent and frequently says, "Mama Mia" and "Luigi" or "Mario" with accent. Shawn's going to try to record it.

Hunter's Education

So, since I officially passed Hunter Ed does that make me a hunter? Okay, technically I don't have a hunting license yet, but I can, legally, have one. As much as I've fought it, and when it comes down to it my reasons were completely valid, I finally succumbed and completed Hunter Ed. What does that mean? Well, that means I've done as my work supervisor strongly recommended I do, what my husband has been begging me to do, and what Kyler and Madison are happy I did with them. There was some serious stress. You can take the class at 9 in Idaho, but there was admittedly a point that I didn't know if a 9 year old could pass it. Or a 10 year old for that matter. We got down to our last day I remembered that I'd taken a practice test online once so I found it and took it. It wasn't exactly easy. You really had to have read the book to get them. So I called Shawn and had him make Kyler take it, and I called Madi and had her take it. And then they got to take it again. They both got somewhere in the 60% range. You have to get 80% to pass. Kyler did better the second time with his dad helping him, but I still had some seriously nervous kids before class. Madi was convinced that she was going to fail. Review, review, review, brake, review some more, test time. Finally. Okay, so to toot my own horn, I was the first one done. 60 questions, took me maybe 8 min to do. But hey, good short term memory for testing and I have worked there for almost 9 years. Give me a little credit. So, I missed one. Yeah, yeah, I've worked there almost 9 years, I shouldn't have missed one but I'm blaming it on the question. :) Kyler missed 7 which gave him and 88% and Madison missed 10 which gave her an 83%. WE ALL PASSED. Still had the field day, but we passed that too with flying colors. They really don't try to make it extremely difficult to do. And I hit inside the target all 20 shots with my bad eye! Oh, and the real kicker? That online test? It was soooo much harder than the real thing, but I guarantee those kids know their crap now.

So in all a good day. Long week, but good day. Proud of my kids. They did well. And the final result? My darling husband is telling me about all these hunts I get to do now and all this money is going to spend putting in on controlled hunts for me. Yeah, it didn't take him more than 30 seconds after I told him that I was taking Hunter Ed before he started daydreaming about my killing a cow elk. Yup. I knew this would be the case, why do you think I've put it off for so long? Ok, I'll go with him a few times, but I still stand by the fact that I've been putting in my time while he's been hunting all these years so that someday (sooner than later) I can pack them all out the door and stay home by myself while they hunt. That's my goal. :)

I'm Baaaaackkkkk!

Okay, so that was lame. And major sigh. I lost anybody that was actually checking my blog regularly by not ever writing so I guess I deserve to write this for myself. It's been busy. I'm taking Hunter's Education right now with Kyler and Madison. We have 2 more nights of class and then a field day. It's made for a really loooooonnnnngggg weeeeeeeek. Almost over, but it hasn't seemed like Spring Break. I'm glad the kids are doing it this week with no school rather than a week they have to deal with school too. We've had some pretty late nights. Riley's trying to type for me. Random letters here and there. He's having a tough day because his dad declared the rest of the day video game free. Serious sign of problems already starting. And late nights.

I'm angry with Wells Fargo right now. I used to pay my truck bill online and then last June they changed their websites and the one I went to told me I could no longer pay online if I didn't have a Wells Fargo account. Sucked big, but whatever. So checks it was. Well, about 2 months ago I didn't get a statement. I thought maybe someone else had gotten the mail that day and I just didn't see it so I called and made my payment ($10 service charge thank you). Last month, didn't get my statement. Hmmm. Fluke again? Didn't realize until bill was basically due so another $10 service charge. Didn't receive it by the 21st this month so I started watching REALLY closely. Nope, still not here today so I finally called (yes I should have 2 months ago, but I forget things and I really did think someone else had gotten it and misplaced it. It's not like it's an open line of credit...). Nope, current address was not 712 Victor Ave, did we have a different address? Apparently you have to call and verbally change your address. Guess I didn't. Mine was temporarily changed because of Postal Service forward information and when I didn't call their system more or less expunged all of that data after what, a year and a half? Nice. Even though I've been mailing everything from 712, with that address on my checks... Whatever. Okay, not whatever, I was mad. Probably wasn't terribly polite to the guy on the other end. He kept telling me that when you have a foreign address...foreign? How can my address be foreign again? Last time I checked Idaho was still part of the United States. Seriously, twice I responded rather baffled to his use of the word foreign. Then he decided to enunciate better and got out forward. Oh, and did I mention that the first time I finally got connected to a live person through their seriously twisty turny menus he put me on hold which shuffled me back to the very first menu you get when you call. Okay, so by the time I got to the second guy I was already huffy. Guess the good thing is my address is now officially changed and he told me they have a new site that I can pay my bill online through so life is better, if still not a little big irritating. Bill is paid and I'm happy-ish.

The real title should be...

Okay, so the real title of this blog should be The Life and Sayings of Riley. Tonight I got to meet Shawn for dinner with a client. Brett said he would watch Riley for me since the other boys were staying the night at Brian's house (Brian volunteered to take Riley too, but I'm not ready). I had a nice dinner with Shawn and his client (it was his birthday - and yes, I paid for my own dinner) and went to pick Riley up. Joan had been working in the garage and had no idea that Riley was even there. She came out when I pulled up and she was naturally curious why I'd come back (I'd picked up Madi & Brodi for wrestling 2 hours earlier) and I told her I was there to get my boy. She was confused and told me she didn't have any boys. :) Well, we had a nice chat but Riley didn't want to put his shoes on to go home. He wanted me to carry him so I said I would (easier for me too). We got to the car when the overwhelming urge to burp came over me & I did and then I said excuse me. Riley, thinking it was funny, pointed out that I'd just burped. Within seconds, he was plugging his nose though and in a very offended voice said, "What did you eat?!" I asked him why, trying very hard not to laugh, and he said, "You burped in my face!" It was hilarious. Seriously funny. I'm still laughing!

Two days later

Two days. It's only taken me two days to get back on this time! That's an improvement. I'm trying to actually get on. I've found that there is almost a direct correlation between me blogging and thinking about eating healthy. The time in between blogs doesn't involve thinking about cutting back, eating sensibly, or exercising. When I get on here though, it's an immediate thought, even if right now it's just about how I've failed so far. That's why there are always new beginnings. :)

So, Makenzie is getting baptised tomorrow. We're really proud of her. It will be nice to see everyone this weekend too. My parents are on their way here now. Yahy. I hate that word only because I just don't know how to spell it and no one will tell me. It's not yeah, and I know it's not yahy, but yay looks stupid. Blah.

Also looking forward to Angie and Trevor coming home for Spring Break. Another yahy would go in here if someone would tell me how to spell it so it doesn't look stupid. Thanks. They will get here just in time for Riley's 5th birthday. That's nice for us. Speaking of his 5th bday I just got a call from a gal in our ward. She wanted to know if I would be willing to possibly sing a duet at the Relief Society birthday party on the Wed after next. I think my immediate hesitation was a give away, but I did finally muster up the ability to get past the absolute shock that someone would actually ask me to sing, almost alone mind you(the awesome gal she was trying to get to sing with me is in the Primary presidency with me and she doesn't like singing in front of people either), in front of a group of women I know. I told her, as kindly as I could, that I wasn't comfortable with that. (I told my mom this and she told me that I was missing out on an enriching experience and I told her that I was just making sure someone else had an opportunity to enjoy that enriching experience. I'm so unselfish like that.) She then asked if I was comfortable enough to sing in a larger group, say 6 to 8 women. I told her, yes, that makes me more comfortable and I don't mind that, but what night was this again. I looked at a calendar and darn it! Wouldn't you know, it has the bad luck to be on the 17th. Well shoot. Guess I just miss out on all the enriching experiences this time around. :)

Oh, and this is going to be a long one. Angie won't text me back & I'm all sorts of chatty right now. I went to the public library and they had a bookmark with a picture of the two main characters of a new version of Emma on PBS Masterpiece Classic. I picked one up because I'm such a sucker for all things Jane Austen. I'd missed it, but I got onto PBS and they had it there. 3 parts later, I was done. Really enjoyed it. I always felt something was lacking in the Emma done a few years ago (actually quite a few years back since after it came out Melanie - my best friend from high school- gave me a copy of Emma with pictures of Gweneth Paltrow in it and on it from her version of the movie) and this was more satisfying. I'm a total baby when it comes to favorite books being adapted to film. Just ask Kristen, she'd love to enlighten you on this particular quirk. They did an excellent job following the film and the characters were much more pleasant to look at. I never liked the actor they picked for Frank Churchill in the last version. This one was much better. I also thought that Gweneth Paltrow's Emma was just a tad bit too likable. She never came off as really wrong and truly judgemental. Or maybe it's been a really long time since I've seen that version. Anyway, the PBS one was great. I noticed that you can rent it on Netflix.

On the back of the bookmark, I noticed that they've done a newer version of Persuasion as well. Now, while I liked Emma well enough, Persuasion and Pride and Prejudice are by far my favorite novels by Jane Austen. I admit that I struggled with the Pride and Prejudice that came out not that long ago with Keira Knightly, but I was able to get past some of that and accept it for what it was and not what it was lacking. I even bought it. It's not my favorite version, as that is reserved for the unbeatable version done by the BBC that is 5+ hours long with the adorable Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy, but it was enjoyable none the less. Long way to get to my point about Persuasion. Wow, this might be too much for this post. There's a bit of a back story to Persuasion for me. Oh well, I will push onward and if you stop reading, well, I understand.

I read Pride and Prejudice my senior year of high school. I loved it. I then got more of her novels and the next one I read was Persuasion. I will admit that when I read Persuasion, I was baffled by it. I didn't understand the language and it just honestly didn't make a lot of sense. Shortly after I read it, I went to the video store with my dad. While wandering I found a copy of the BBC version of Persuasion that had two people on the front leaning in for a kiss. The man was handsome and the girl was very pretty. I showed it to my dad and he told me I wanted it just for the picture on the front. Maybe...But anyway, we sat down and watched it. Yes, my dad watched it with me. We watched it and we both tried to puzzle through it. We then decided we needed to watch it a second time to see if it made any more sense. So we did and it did. And I found I wanted to read the book again to see if it made more sense. Wow! It was suddenly very clear to me. So, that's how my love of Persuasion came to be. It has a much closer bond than Emma ever did, thus my apprehension in watching a new version of the movie. Now, the BBC version (which they both probably are in all actuality) was really only about 111 min long. Not quite 2 hours. The PBS one comes in at less than that by about 15 min I think so I wasn't terribly optimistic. Also, it wasn't on PBS so I had to rent it from Netflix. I loved Captain Wentworth. Not to be disloyal to the original (for me) Captain Wentworth, who I can pick out of any film I see him in, but I did like their Captain Wentworth choice. I like their Mr. Elliot choice too. Anne, was okay. I didn't hate her (my problem with Edward from Twilight) so I was okay with it. They definitely cut and rearranged, but I guess I can live with it. Is it a new favorite? No. Did I despise it? No. I wasn't as impressed with it as I was with the artsy 2 hour Pride and Prejudice, but it was passable and I'm okay with that. I would still recommend the other version because it was a little truer to the story than the new, but the new was passable. Oh, and the picture on the front of the video rental was sooo not pictures of the actual actors in the movie. They'd taken some other, more attractice people & used them. But the funny thing about that original version of Persuasion was that Anne was so unatractive at the start, but as the movie went on, she just got prettier.

So I'm finally done. Kudos to any who read this far. :) You're my favorite people.

Wrestling Tournament

Bayden and Broderic had their very first Wrestling Tournament tonight. Broderic weighed in at 57lbs and Bayden weighed in at 73lbs so they weren't anywhere near the same weight class. Bayden ended up being the lightest in his class . He wrestled against a kid at 81lbs & 78 lbs. He won the first and lost the second, but he put a lot of heart into it. The second kid has been wrestling for a few years too so he had Bayden out classed all the way around this time. It kind of stung poor Bayden's feelers though so he's determined to learn more, do more and be better next time. He doesn't like to lose. We just need to make sure that goes in the right direction. He did well and got a silver medal. We are very proud of him.

Broderic also did some form of what I'm sure some would call wrestling. He's tenacious which surprised me as he's been goofing off at practice and only half paying attention. Of course, that was slightly apparent when he tried to drop kick the other kid. Then again, the other kid seemed to be in about the same arena because he would get on his back and kick at Broderic to keep him away. The poor kid that was reffing that match... Broderic, though, was successful and won both of his matches. He got a gold. The kids a scrapper, even if it was a little more UFC than high school sanctioned wrestling. He may have a taste for it now though and be a little more attentive at practice.

No more Wednesday wrestling tournaments for us though. It was almost 9 when we got home. Tough on a school night.

Sigh...

Okay, so I am seriously slacking! I don't want to sit here an type because I feel like a failure. Trying to find my center again. It's slow in coming. Not feeling so terribly committed. Anyway, I'm getting here and trying to find it. This is my first baby step.

Not much is happening here. The boys are doing well. Riley is getting ready to turn 5. It's coming. I'm ready. Still have cougher's in my house, but they're getting better. I'm ready for them to be better. No real energy to type tonight. I tend to be especially boring rather than mildly boring when I have no real energy. I need to do a lot of cooking tonight but I don't want to. I may put it off until tomorrow. Yup, going to put it off until tomorrow. I think I'm going to tell my husband I'm not waiting up for him tonight. I'm tired.

New Beginnings

So Tomorrow I am going to try again. I've failed miserably, but I've failed myself and that shouldn't be acceptable. So I'm going to try again. Forgive and forget right? Well, that's only if you can stop doing the thing that needs to be forgiven. So I need to stop slacking off. My goal this week is to run. I need to run on my treadmill.

The boys have been doing their chores. It's been wonderful. They didn't earn the $2.50 for last week. Ky and Bayden each earned $1.50 and Riley earned $1. But they still did most of their chores so it was a success. Kyler wants to get paid for each sticker (10 cents each) but I told him that wasn't how it was going to work. They get paid only if they do the chore 5 times. We've done the 10 cents per sticker thing before and there's not enough incentive.

Not very lively tonight. I think I'm tired. I got to actually conduct closing exercises for junior primary today and it was amazingly draining. Blah. We had ward conference and because we have about 90 active kids we had to split them up. It worked, but not necessarily smoothly. Glad it's not a usual occurrence. I got to lead but I wasn't prepared to actually come up with songs so the primary pianist wasn't thrilled with me when I asked what songs we were singing. Heehee. But it went well enough and it's over so I'm good. So boring night, nothing fun to report, I want to go to bed.

And it's finally over...

Okay, so today wasn't bad but I'm glad it's over. My head is POUNDING and my eyes are burning. I've had a few late nights and fitful nights so I'm back on the super-tired wagon. It hasn't helped what I have determined to be one heck of a sinus infection. Going on one full week and 2 days and it doesn't show signs of leaving. I'm finally starting to be able to hear a little bit more. I'm now spending more of the day with clear hearing than not. I think part of my eye problem is that I used my new Mary Kay eye makeup remover and I didn't wash it off with water before opening my eyes. Supposedly I'm shouldn't have to wash it off because it's the miracle stuff that takes the makeup off but won't hurt your eyes. Well, the stinging seems to indicate otherwise for me. It may work that way for most, but I don't think I'm a winner in this category. Of course, I've been having some pretty painful times with my seriously sensitive eyes lately. I actually didn't know my eyes were so very sensitive. I think it's an age thing. :)

Still haven't run on my treadmill and the second night of Navajo tacos aren't a good indicator that I'm losing weight. So, like how I snuck that in and then just moved on? Oh, I'm moving on by the way. I've made a weekly chore chart for my boys. I've decided to pay them a commission (thank you Mr. Dave Ramsey) for certain jobs that they have to do. They each have 5 things they have to do 5 times a week. That gives them 2 days of wiggle room. So far they are using them. They have to do the job all 5 times for that week to get the 50 cents for that job. Slave driver? Well, I really struggled paying them for something they should be doing because they are members of the family, but I needed to give them some incentive and they really want to earn money. They say they do anyway. First week and actually, it's not going half bad. The key though turns out to be my consistency rather than theirs. I have to ride them pretty hard every night to get it done, but they don't actually seem to view it as nagging or totally negative because they're getting paid to do it. They have the potential to earn $10 a month. They get half to put in their spending jar, $4 goes into their long-term saving jar and 10% goes to tithing. Money management and they're learning to clean. It's been good for me too. Tonight they didn't get to go to Madi and Brodi's house to play because they chose to go play at the park and watch TV rather than do their chores like they'd been told 4 times. They still had to do their chores though. Someday, when they're completely trained, I'm going to look back and say, "It was so worth it."

So, trying to find my desire to get thin again, but making other changes in my life as well, so not a total bust life-wise in my eyes. Just not getting me any closer to that healthy heart and new wardrobe. Sigh.

Happy Presidents Day

It is President's Day right? I'm off work, but I don't remember the name of the Holiday. Anyway, I really have to get back on here. I have taken too many days off. I've been dealing with a kicker of a head cold for almost a week now. 6 Days to be exact. I haven't done any running and I've eaten crap to my hearts content. Well, maybe to my minds content. My heart could do with a lot less of it actually. Oh, and I'm doing scones tonight. Hope my heads happy.

Had a really good Valentine's Day. Shawn and I went out Saturday night. It started iffy. I got the baby sitter and decided to go to Red Lobster because Shawn loves it and we haven't been in a while, but when we got there people were waiting outside. I got discouraged actually and kind of spiraled down. My plans were no longer good and I didn't want to make anymore so I pouted. Shawn tried to pick somewhere else, but when we got close I commented that I didn't want to go to Butter Burrs because I didn't know that's where he kind of really wanted to go. So we drove around for almost half an hour finding out that everywhere was just packed. We finally wound up at Chili's with a 35 min wait (70 min at Red Lobster) and had our dinner. It was nice enough considering my pouting. Then we drove around trying to figure out what to do next. I'd looked at movie options and there was nothing that I wanted to spend real money on except The Book of Eli and that didn't even start until 10 and I didn't want to wait until then & be out that late. Baby sitter's aren't cheap. In our driving we managed to drive past Tough Guy Bowling Lanes. I suggested to Shawn, almost as a joke, that we go bowling. He surprised me and said "Sure, I'd actually like to bowl with you rather than watch you bowl." The last time we went bowling was w/the Cub Scouts for Kyler and Shawn just watched. Lots of people and all. So we went bowling. It was a blast! It was like a real date. We actually had to interact. :) I won the first two games (something like 152 to 140 something and then 118 to 98 or so) and then Shawn got a ball that finally fit better (fingers and weight) and he won the last game (179 to 98). So we are going to go bowling again. We are going to try to do more active things rather than movies. We had fun. Lots of fun. It made us feel young again. :)

Oh so sick...

Okay, so I'm still sick and just don't feel like doing anything. Good news is that I haven't eaten much cause I'm just not terribly hungry. Bad news is I haven't run because I just don't care. I felt better today than the last two and went to work, but the longer the day wears on the worse I'm feeling. I need a nap, but as it happens, I am letting Kyler and Bayden try wrestling and it starts tonight. Bayden really wanted to and when I asked Ky he said he'd like to try. Not sure it's his speed, but just in case my observation is off, I'm glad he's trying it. He said he doesn't want to do baseball this summer. He really, really wants to do basketball. So, wrestling, something I never really considered a sport because it wasn't something anyone in my house did. Anyway, don't feel good, want to go to bed, but not going to happen.

So Riley had a doctors appointment this morning. He knew he was getting shots because his brothers have been teasing him all week. He was nervous and gave the doctor a hard time because he thought the doctor was going to spring the shots on him at any moment. The nurse gave the shots. He's a fighter. Anyway, I forgot to give Shawn his immunization record so I left work and ran it down and stayed for the appointment. Riley climbed up on my lap and I wrapped my arms around his middle. As the sides of my clasped hands rested on the tops of his thighs, I felt something hard and rectangular bulging through his pants. Now, if you've spent much time around Riley you know he doesn't much care for underwear, so when I reached down his pants to pull out the hard object stuffed down his pants, Shawn thought I was just checking to see if he had underwear on. He couldn't figure out why I was fishing down his pants. Yes, I was grateful that neither the doctor or the nurse was in the room. Shawn's face was worth it though when instead of explaining what I was doing, I produced Kyler's Nintendo DS from Riley's underwear. Yeah, and I had to clean it off. Shawn was completely surprised because he had no idea Riley had it at all. I'm glad he opted for the underwear because the pants weren't tight enough to ensure it wouldn't slip down his leg. :) That's my boy.

Blah!

So, here I am. I feel like crap but my adoring fan(s) call, and call, and call... :) Thank you for keeping me honest Angie. I've sucked it up. Big time. I basically need to start over. I actually have noticed that I eat less at major meals, but I really have to get control of the snacking. And I haven't run in a while. Probably a week and that's the building block of my weight loss. So, have to get that down. Seriously. Last week sucked because of all the hormones. This week I have one of those nasty can't-smell-need-to-cough-every-few-minutes-want-to-sleep colds. I'm not running tonight. I don't care how many people tell me it will make me feel better. No. I started out not hot this morning, but if I'm going to take a day off work to be sick, I'm going to take a day I don't have to leave my house. If I took today I would have had to leave to pick up Madi & Broderic and that ruins the whole be home sick thing so I toughed it out. Started out better than it ended. I kept feeling worse and worse as the day went on. I ache and I just want to lay down. I should be doing this from my bed on the tablet/laptop I borrowed from Trent. It's about 4 years newer than my laptop and you can tell. It actually works! But I'm not. I just tidied up the front room in case Shawn has a date come home with him (he's playing basketball at the church) so he won't be embarrassed. I still need to get Riley to go to sleep. But it's hard because I just don't care except he's totally driving me crazy. I know, that doesn't make any sense, but right now everything is really hazy and foggy.

Makenzie turned 8 today so we went to her family party. It was nice. She got a karaoke machine. I'm so not jealous. Happy for her of course. Heeheehee. It's not coming to visit at my house. Saw Grandma and Grandpa Campbell. Kyler went to give Grandma a hug goodbye and he attacked the task a little to vigorously. Catching the tail end of it was like watching a quarterback get sacked. Trent and Grandpa had just gotten Grandma to her feet when Kyler went in for the hug. He ended up on top of her. Fortunately the couch was right behind her so she ended up sitting back down. No one was injured thankfully. Oh, and cranky me just smacked my son in the arm and boy were there waterworks. I don't know when he became so dramatic. This is the 3rd time today (first time I've smacked him) that they've shown up. I turned his movie off earlier and you'd think I'd just killed his fish or cut his arm off. So can't deal today. So there it is, adoring fan. Just for you. :) Love you

#3 Inner-Directed

Okay, so yesterday was yesterday. I'm much better today. I'm not even going to dwell on what kind of damage I did to my weight because that other Kimm was in control. She's gone for at least a month though so we should be good. Maybe someday she'll get on board with eating healthy, though I'm not going to hold my breath. But, I guess if it's only one day a month that she visits and wreaks havoc on my eating I can just run extra another day. I'm kind of afraid of her. She's super cranky.

Now the third characteristic of a goal from Good Housekeeping: Inner-directed. "You need to lose weight for your own reasons, not because you're comparing yourself to some ideal. You shouldn't try to fit into anyone's clothes but your own." So, right now I don't even fit into my own clothes so I'm not looking to fit into anyone else's. :) Really, I do have an ideal of how I want to look, but it's not like any one specific person out there. I want to look like the Kimm I see in the bathroom mirror when I'm standing in front of the split between the right hand mirror and the middle mirror sections. There is no gap. They butt right up next to each other and when I stand there 1/4 of my body disappears and I'm suddenly thinner. That's my ideal, so I can actually visualize what I would look like. Is that what they're talking about? No, I'm not trying to get as think as some super model that doesn't eat. I don't have any grand plans of being the same size I was in high school. I'm actually more comfortable with my body, even at the size it is, than I ever was when I was thin as a rail. But that's still not terribly comfortable so I'm going to do something about it. I have started to go through clothing magazine's and say "Oooh. I want to wear that!" when I see something I like. I don't want to be the model though. But still, it's not just about the size for me. It's also about my health. I need to be healthier like I need air to breath.

Tuesday Crappers!

So I'm not today. I'm not doing anything. I just don't care and I don't want to care today. I'm crampy, cranky and just downright ornery right now. I'm not running. I'm not watching what I eat and I'm not even going to care even a little bit. I'm going to curl up in a ball and rock back and forth until I go to bed. So, better tomorrow.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTEN!

Just finished running for Mon. One day down, 5 more this week. I have to do this every night!

Characteristic #2 - Concrete

Okay, so the 2nd characteristic is Concrete - "It should be measurable and time-specific - for example, "I want to lose five pounds in four weeks." Actually, that is my goal. I want to lose 5 pounds in 4 weeks every 4 weeks until I hit my 50 lbs. So, my goal is measurable, time-specific and concrete. I accept that goal. It's more concrete actually than saying 50 lbs in one year. That allows me to put it off. I now have a more concrete goal of 5 lbs a month.

So, I asked Shawn to put the boys to bed last night. He was okay with that. What it meant though was that he had to put Riley down. We were doing pretty good for a while. Riley was actually going to bed in his bed and by himself. Not sure what changed, but for the last month it's been a battle. I've had to start laying with him to get him down in anything less than 2 hours of in and out of bed. So Shawn put Riley down last night. Yes, yes he did. That sweet, sweet funny man put Riley down without once threatening to spank him for getting up. Oh, there was still a threat, but it wasn't directed at Riley. No, the threat he used was that if Riley didn't stay in bed mom was going to spank dad and dad really didn't want to be spanked. It got Riley in bed initially. It didn't last long so Shawn reiterated that he was going to get in BIG TROUBLE and did Riley really want dad to get spanked? Riley apologized, "I didn't mean to get you in trouble dad." That lasted for a bit longer and then while I was taking a bath apparently Shawn had to remind Riley again, but this time he used visual effects. He showed him his arm, where he was sore from trying to start an auger, and the back of his knee where he had a cut from the gate to his dead room. He "showed" Riley the results of his injuries from Riley getting out of bed. I believe "wooden spoon" was used as well because Riley told me not to spank his dad with a wooden spoon today. Riley did stay in bed the last time but that may be the last time I ask Shawn to put him to bed. :) Guess that's one way to work it.

Goal Characteristics #1 - Yours

Okay, so the first characteristic of a goal that this article lists is to make it YOURS. I have to own the goal. "To be effective, it has to reflect your true desire - not your husband's, mother's, or best friend's." So I'm going to make sure my goal of losing 50 lbs is truly mine. Again, why am I losing the weight? Because I carry my weight in my belly. That's probably numero uno. Women who carry their weight in the middle sections have a higher rate of heart disease. I am in my 30's (as much as I like to claim otherwise) and I'm obviously not getting any younger. I am not ready to leave my family behind if it's because of something I can control/change. I also HATE how I look in pictures. I hate it. I could be very happy never to have another picture taken of me at this size, but that's not a very realistic desire. I have found that I also don't want to end up with no pictures of me and my kids/husband which is about where we're at. I avoid the camera like the plague. I want my kids to have those videos/pictures to sit and look at longingly when I am not here, just like in the movies. You know the ones. The candid but ever so charming photo of the couple smiling big and obviously enjoying their outdoor-BBQ-fishing adventure-mountain climbing-fancy dress-windy day blowing the hair just right experience. I want that. :) I also hate not having any clothes that feel like they fit. I don't want to buy a larger size. I don't want to get into the plus size clothes. I'm not there (barely or maybe I should be there and I just keep squishing into my too small clothes) yet and I don't want to get there. No bigger sizes. Smaller. Only Smaller. So this is MY goal. Shawn didn't suggest it. My mother didn't push me (well maybe the fact that she's giving me all the clothes that are too big for her might have helped encourage me). I didn't have a best friend chanting in my ear that she's doing this so I should do it with her. I decided I was tired of being fat. I have no energy. I can't do the outdoorsy stuff with my family without getting seriously winded. This is for ME, not anyone else. If I don't succeed, I am only failing myself. I'm tired of failing myself.

Oh, for those that haven't heard (most everybody), Riley opened the chicken run to get eggs and then didn't lock it back up. I let Tig out to of his kennel (he won't stay in the yard so he gets locked up for most of the day) to get some exercise. Tig was out for probably an hour before he realized the door to the chickens wasn't really an obstacle. I asked Kyler to check on Tig to make sure he was in the yard and he alerted me, with a healthy dose of panic, that Tig was chasing a chicken up on the patio. Sure enough. Red (probably the favorite and boy does she lay HUGE eggs) was just barely evading the snapping canines coming at her. Well, she didn't really escape. She lost a lot of feathers, but actually only had one spot of any real damage and it was pretty minor and on the very edge of one wing. I was finally able to get Tig by his collar and kennel him and Rocky back up. Kyler and I then embarked on a chicken hunt. It took me a bit to get a hold of a very harassed Rhode Island Red and when I carried her back to safety, one of the Leghorn's was walking calmly back into the Chicken run. The other Leghorn (the white ones) was cowering in a back corner. She didn't fare as well as Red. She had a few bleeding puncture wounds on the top of her head. We weren't sure she was going to make it. So, we were only missing one chicken now. Kyler and I started to search the yard. I was expecting to find a dead chicken. I finally found the Sex-link (yes, that's really it's type) unharmed at the big gate by our woodpile. This was 2 days ago and so far they are all still alive and at least 3 of them are still laying eggs. 2 brown and 1 white each day. Oh, and our chicken's names are Tweedle, Dee, Dumb, and Dumber if you didn't know. You can't tell Dee and Dumb apart because their both white Leghorn's, but does it really matter? I crack up every time I say their names. :) Tweedle is the Rhode Island Red and Dumber is the Sex-link. Tweedle is the feistiest and Dumber is the bravest.

Boy, my post are just so dang long. Hope you like reading.